The Empress of Justification

The problem with a mirror is that it very impersonally reflects back to you exactly what it sees.  It has no judgements (Well unless it happens to belong to an evil stepmother), or biases.  You look, it reflects, it's pretty simple, and and sometimes harsh.

Part of my process, this blog, the Dr. Gillian McKeith Boot Camp, the work I've been doing, aside from the Dtour Diet itself, is a way of holding up an internal mirror to myself so that these very important changes that I am making are permanent.  I don't want to slide backwards again, gain more weight and become a yo-yo.  I have spent too many years as a very large, very round yo-yo and frankly, it has become to much work and too much stress for me and my body to deal with anymore.

So yesterday at work I had on my daily list the thing I dread most - filing.  I hate filing with a passion.  (Yes, there is a point coming, bear with me for a moment!)  I think I would rather walk through fire or eat glass than file.   Which is a problem as I am an Office Manager and filing should be a part of my daily tasks.  I go to extremes to avoid it. 

My first solution was to decide to file once a week.  Friday afternoons were going to be filing time.  Yeah, that didn't work.  I ended up with this huge stack of paperwork perched on the edge of my desk mocking me constantly.

Yesterday, I finally decided to take the bull by the horns.  I am going to file as I do things.  I can do that, right?  I mean, hey, I gave up caffeine!  If I did that, how hard can shoving papers in folders be?  I spent about an hour yesterday eliminating the mocking little pile and I start today with a clean desk!  Yea me!

The point?  Oh, you mean how does this relate to my lifestyle change?  Exercise.  When I got home and things finally quieted down last night, I was getting ready for bed and it suddenly dawned on me.  Exercise is my weight loss filing.  Damn that internal mirror anyway!

When it comes to exercise I am the Empress of Justification. It's too hot,  I don't have the proper clothes, I don't have the right bra (okay, that is not an excuse.  If I don't get a decent one, I'm going to give myself a couple of black eyes soon!), I'm too tired when I get home from work, there is no time . . . . I can keep going.  I think I have enough excuses to fill a copy of War and Peace!

I need to sit down and make a serious commitment to a strict exercise program.  That will be my goal for the day.   I will have a plan laid out and posted here tonight.

The Empress shall be dethroned!  Can I dethrone myself?  Oh well, I don't want to be a yo-yo and I definitely want to make this work, so by the end of the day a firm commitment on the exercise. Stay tuned . . .