Will Power

Hubby and I relaxed a bit this evening and watched a movie I had wanted to see when it was in the theater; The Green Lantern.

When I was a kid I used to read everything I could get my hands on.  But one of my favorites was comic books.  There was nothing better than climbing up a tree and spending the afternoon lost in a comic book!  Those were wonderful days!

The Green Lantern was my favorite because of how he became a super hero.  He was chosen by a ring created by a race of immortal beings.  The rings were green because green was the color of will, the most powerful thing in the universe.  The Green Lantern could make anything he could think of.  That's why I thought he was so cool.  He wasn't born on a special planet which imbued him with special powers.  He was  a guy who faced his fears and used his will to defeat his enemies.  Who wouldn't love that!

Watching the movie tonight reminded me of the power that comes from our strength of will.

I am facing a new battle and for the last couple of weeks, I think I have been letting it get to me.  Diabetes, Celiac's and IBS, is  a heck of a trio to face, but it can't be impossible!  I just have to change may attitude and come up with a new meal plan!

If the Green Lantern can defeat Prilax, I can defeat my little trio of trouble makers!  Right?

Right!  If it can be done, I'm the person to do it!!

Let the experiments begin!

I am determined not to be defeated by this latest diet blow.  Celiac's and IBS.  I guess it's a good thing I like water!

Not happy with that attitude, I have been pursuing my collection of recipes to see what I can still eat, what I might need to modify to eat and what is permanently out he window. 

Wonderful hubby brought home a gluten free bread mix last night.  One of my most favorite things has always been bread.  So the gluten free diet is a huge blow.  Hubby thought if I found a mix that worked well, I could still have something resembling my favorite treat.

So this afternoon I fired up the bread machine and got to work.  The dough looked and smelled good, even the house started to smell of warm fresh baked bread.  Which on a rainy cold day is perfect!  I was excited when the timer went off and rushed into the kitchen to see how it had come out.  It smelled heavenly!

I dumped it out onto a cutting board, and too anxious to wait for it to cool, cut a piece off the end and slathered it with butter.  My mouth was watering that the very idea of fresh warm bread!  I bit into . . .plaster dust!!  At least that is what it reminded me of!

It was horrible!  Who would advertise plaster as bread?  I mean really, who does that?!!!  It was so bad I couldn't even swallow what I had bitten off!  I spit it into the trash and followed it with the entire loaf of  . . .  whatever it was!

I guess it's back to the drawing board!

Burrito night . . .saved!

The war between my body and my self is at an end.  I lost.  (I really, really hate that!!)

I now am off gluten.  Which wipes out virtually all of my sweet treats!  Wipes out bread too!  Do you know that Campbell's puts gluten in their tomato soup?  Who does that?!

I have one more test set up for Tuesday but as of now it has been called at Celiac's and I have lost all gluten from my diet.  It was weird how fast I began to get better once we eliminated it!


My big worry was burrito night.  I know it sounds strange but that is a weekly staple around here and none of us wanted to give it up!  How exactly do you make burritos without a flour tortilla?  True we could use corn tortillas, but they are too small and The Boy is not really fond of them.

Not to worry though, I found a book.  Of course I found a book!  I can find a book on virtually anything I need to learn!  I found a cookbook that had a recipe for gluten free tortillas!  Yes, I am now making my own tortillas!

They were the best burritos ever!  I cannot believe how much difference the homemade tortilla made!  Hubby was in burrito heaven.  The Boy was working, but we saved one for him.

I can change anything I have to change to get well and back to work.  But it is a relief to know that some of our family traditions (no matter how silly) do not have to be abandoned, just adapted!

My body better be done with it's little war though, otherwise I'll be reduced to bread and water.  Oh wait!  No more bread.

I'll be reduced to just water??

Green Goddess

I have been playing with the juicer, since I seem to be able to keep that down.  I followed the directions for a juice called Green Goddess.  I figured that had to taste pretty good, right?  I  mean, c'mon they named it Goddess, how bad could it be?

It was the worst thing ever!  It had broccoli in it!  You would have thought that I caught onto that when I was putting the broccoli in the juicer, but alas, I didn't.  Oh my gosh!  It was one of the worst things ever!  It all got dumped right down the drain!

Green Goddess?  I think not!  Green Grossness is more like it!  That one has been permanently marked off the menu!

Trial and error, that is the best way to learn!

Stop the train. I want off!

I realized something today.  I am going into another depression.  I hate the very thought of it.  I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself again today.  I had a migraine which kept me in a dark room for most of the day, but that is not all of it. 

I need to get out of this quickly.  I think this is the first time that I ever realized it was actually happening.  That means that this is the first time I can put a stop to it before it goes any further.

First I need a plan to get back to work.  If I can keep food down for another couple of days, I think I should be able to talk the doctor into letting me go back next week.  Then I need to get to work.  Actually first, I need to get downstairs.  I've been pretty much confining myself to  my bedroom, which I don't think is helping anything.  I need to at least go downstairs.

Maybe I can even make it outside for a bit.  I do have a nice porch that I could sit on for awhile.


I need a plan.  When I'm depressed, I eat.  Need a plan!

What to do, what to do?? The answer is with me.

If you can't go around it, over it under it or through it, how do you get by it?

Answer:  You figure out a way to work with it.

It seems like an obvious answer, but it has taken me awhile to figure out.

I've been sick for about six or seven weeks now.  No one seems to be able to tell me what is wrong.  They have or are running every test in the book.  I have had cameras stuck everywhere while the Doctor's are trying to figure out what is wrong.  So far they have come up with nothing except more tests to run.

The way I understand it, if they find nothing out from the tests then a diagnosis will be made from three possibilities.

1. Celiac Disease
2. Chrone's Disease
3. IBS - irritable bowel syndrome

All of which sound absolutely lovely!  By the by, who came up with Chrone's?  What an awful name.  It would make one feel like a little old crabby lady!  Especially if you happen to be male.

So why should I wait around for the Doctors to finish poking and prodding?  I can take action myself.  I've been doing a little reading already, but now is the time to dive in!

If I can come up with a workable eating plan (that I can keep down), I may be able to get to work in another week or so.  I just need to make sure that I can tolerate what I eat.

It will mean a different lifestyle, but we are used to that around here.  We've been changing our lifestyle for the past couple of years, what is one or two more changes?

I have also decided that my body has a problem with the prefix "glu"  as in glucose, and gluten.  My body seems determined to reject sugar and gluten products.  Okay, I can figure out how to work with it!

I am going into full on research  mode today!  I'm tired of sitting around!

I can't go through it, over it, under it, or around it, so I will figure out a way to work with it!!

The joke is on me

Okay,  I have been making a joke that my body is rebelling.  I realized something today, it's no joke!  First it was migraines.  Then it was Diabetes.  Now, we seem to have this total rejection of all food thing going on.  You think that my body is trying to tell me something that I am not getting?

Yeah, I think so too!  The upside is that I took my measurements today and I have lost a total of 18" (once all the different measurements were tallied up.)

It's one thing when your husband or child ignores what you have to say.   It's an entirely different story when your own body turns on you!  Okay, I haven't treated it as kindly as I could have; does it have to punish me for the rest of my life??

Okay, tantrum over. 

I'm getting into a new mindset here.  I just need to make another adjustment.  I got rid of sugar, caffeine, and ice cream; how bad could losing gluten be?  Pretty soon I'll be down to water! 

Okay, the research continues!

I'm Over it!

Okay, spent a couple of days having a fine pity party for myself.  I'm over it.  Whining has always irritated me, especially when I am the one doing the whining!  It really doesn't serve much of a purpose, except to make you feel worse!

I had to withdraw from school for the term, which really threw me for a bit.  Then The Boy came up with multiple reasons that this whole stupid situation could be looked at as a good thing.  If he can find a bright side, then so can I!

I will admit, I am getting lots of research done.  I have been watching lots of food related documentaries and shows about weight loss.  I have not been watching Biggest Loser.  Somehow, I have trouble seeing a weight loss journey as a competition.  It is far too personal a thing.

I have now lost 22 pounds since Sept. 5th.  This is a positive as well.  It is really easy to lose the weight when you have a trampoline stomach.

I have been drinking some green juice fresh from a juicer and am trying to look on this as sort of a juice fast.  The juice does stay down pretty well and it really doesn't taste that bad!

I also am under the constant care of my two kitty nurses.  At least one of our two cats is always with me.  I am beginning to think that they are taking shifts!

See, this situation is not so bad as I first thought.  I am trying to make the best of it!