Monday, May 31, 2010

New Cookbook

The best way to spend a rainy evening is with a book.  A couple of weeks ago I received my new Diabetes Dtour Diet CookbookI haven't had a chance to really look it over until this evening, now I'm all but jumping up and down!  (You may have noticed by now, I get excited over some very strange things!)

There are 200 new recipes in it and I'm trying to figure out how to make them all in one week!  They all sound so wonderful!  Okay, most of them.  Only a couple that I've found are questionable.  

It brought back to my mind why we chose the Dtour Diet in the first place.  It was because Dtour was positive about what I could eat, not what I couldn't eat.  Believe me, the minute you hear Diabetes, everyone you have ever met is lining up to tell you what you can't eat, this was the first program that was willing to tell me what I could eat.

Now with this new cookbook, I have a whole new batch of recipes to try out!  I can't wait to get started!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The things people say

I have heard some interesting comments from people since I started this journey.  But last night, when we went to the baseball game, I received the most backhanded compliment I have ever heard.  It has entertained me all day so I thought I would share.  We were standing at the front entrance waiting for my brother and his family; there were a ton of people everywhere, when my loving mother announces:  "I was walking behind you when we were coming in from the parking lot and I noticed that you are not as wide as you used to be!"   Where is the gaping hole in the earth when you need one?

Okay, I know she meant well, but talk about timing, not to mention volume!  You should have seen the look on the boy's face, he was trying so hard not to laugh, but he wanted so much just to bust out!

Then this evening, hubby was helping me off the sofa, (I got stuck in the people eating corner), he says "Your getting up and moving around much easier than you were."  Now, while he was much for tactful in his approach, it still sat kinda funny with me.

I'm starting to think that everyone saw me as some sort of female Jabba the Hut or something!  While they are making me feel much better about the person I am becoming, I am  feeling worse and worse about where I was when I started; not only that, if it was THAT bad, why did no one say anything?  It's all very confusing.

Sunday weigh in:

Jabba Jr.:  -.5 lbs - slow and steady wins the race, right?
The boy:  isn't sure, because he doesn't remember what he weighed last week.
Hubby:  +3lbs - (secretly, I am happy about this) but he gets a break because he is working a second job and personally I think a lot of it is a muscle gain.  My baby is getting ripped!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

What a difference a year makes

I'm sitting here trolling online for 'approved' snacks to take tonight to my first live baseball game.

A year ago I would have spent the day, the weekend, camped out on my corner of the sofa in front of the tv vegging out, waiting for the workweek to start.  This morning, I got up, had my coffee on the back deck, read for awhile, then the boy and I had breakfast and walked into town to hit the farmer's market and the health food store.

We walked back home then spent sometime puttering around in the backyard working on our vegetable beds and prepping a new flowerbed. 

Now all we have left is to make snacks for tonight and then when hubby gets home drive into the city and meet my brother and his family for a ball game.  A much more active day than I would have had before my diagnosis, and I am so much happier with this life.

I might miss my birthday cake, and candy bars, but nothing compares to the energy I have now and fun we are all having!

Friday, May 28, 2010


I know I've discussed clothing stores in the past, but this evening brought a new frustration.  My exercise clothes are becoming a bit loose, so while we were out grocery shopping, I thought I'd check out the possibility of some inexpensive workout clothes as hopefully I'll be out of that size soon.  (I'm trying to be positive!)

 Anyway . . . . there I was searching through the racks looking for something in my size.  Do you think I could find anything?  No!  Now let's think about this for a moment . . .

People my size (size not to be disclosed!) obviously need to exercise, right?  Right.  I mean c'mon on!  We need to lose weight!  The best way to lose weight is to diet and increase exercise, correct?  Still with me?  Good.  So, wouldn't you think, that people my size would be able to find lots and lots of really cute, fun, exercise clothes?  Wouldn't that be just the perfect thing to encourage us to exercise?  Wow!  What a fabulous idea!!

Would somebody please relay that information to the clothing companies!  I could not find a blessed (or un-blessed) thing in my size!  Sure I can go online and order it - wait a week or so for it to arrive, try it on.  If it doesn't fit, ship it back, order again, wait a week or so for it to arrive, try it on. . . .you get the idea.  What a pain is that!

All I want is to be able to purchase some decent clothes to sweat in.  I didn't think I was asking the earth to reverse it's axis.    Personally, I think the clothing companies are missing out on the boat here.  Does anyone have Nike's phone number?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Upside of Diabeties - Yes, I said Upside!

I was wandering around this evening on the American Diabetes Associations' website and found a really interesting on Adolescent Diabeties

Parents, Teens, and Diabetes

it was written by Tim Wysocki, PhD, ABPP  and discusses how families differ in success in dealing with the challenges of raising an adolescent with Diabetes.  It was a really interesting article.

I was most interested in the conclusions Dr. Wysocki came to; two in particular caught my attention.
Diabetes management is seen as a vehicle to accomplish broad life goals, rather than being defined more narrowly.
Because my brain is wired as oddly as it is, it started firing away and those little neuron thingies began chatting in overdrive!  What if that were true for more than adolescents?  What if we applied that statement to Diabetes and life in general?

Isn't that what has happened in our case?  The three of us, my little family, has taken on the challenge of Diabetes by coming at it from an entire life approach.  We did not just change our eating habits, we changed everything.  Virtually every aspect of our life is different now from what it was a year ago.  Thinking about it, it's a good thing!  We are having more fun, we are laughing more, and we are back to spending time together away from the television and movie theater.  I'm liking that . . . A LOT! 

One of the other conclusions in the article was:
 Parent-adolescent communication is frequent, mutually respectful, and constructive rather than conflictual and destructive.
 Okay, we all know it's not just parents and kids that have problems communicating.  We all do, with everyone.  Most often, it is with those we love the most, as we tend to take them for granted and don't put as much thought into how or what we are saying to them (they'll always forgive us, right?)

While the three of us have always been close, the year since the diagnosis has been a learning experience for all of us in communication.  I had to learn what was happening when my blood sugars were swinging, and the boys had to learn to recognize them and figure out a way to help me figure it out.  Now we have a whole new code system.  There are certain phrases that are said when someone thinks my sugars are high or low.  The boy even has a "secret weapon" that he says to me when I am about to eat something I shouldn't.

Communication around here has improved a lot.  We talk easier with each other about all sorts of things and everyone helps in meal planning and preparation.  We had to learn to communicate because we had to change things in order to make them better.  We are all happier for it as well.

So, thinking back to last nights entry, my diagnosis, which a year ago I saw as a death sentence, may have been another 2x4 from the angelic crowd.  Boy are those folk sneaky.

Parents, Teens, and Diabetes

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Oh, the stupid things I do!

So, I'm sitting at lunch today, eating with some of my co-workers.  We had gotten lunch from a nearby deli and sodas from McDonald's as they have that wonderful $1 any size deal going.  We were having a grand old time until one of the ladies at the table took a drink of her soda and made a face.  She had diet when she should have had regular.   Everyone quickly checked their drinks and guess what?  You betcha, I was the dingbat who had the regular soda! (I thought it tasted funny.)

Now that is not necessarily an all bad thing; unless we remember that the primary reason that the Dtour diet was chosen was because I'm a  . . . what was the term?  . . . .Oh yeah, Diabetic!  
Full sugar soda + Diabetic = Lousy Afternoon

Now, I've done some silly things in the last year - but never, never have I ever done anything that flat out stupid!  My blood sugars went up to 288!  I felt horrible!  My heart was racing, I couldn't focus and I kept running into things (not sure what that last one was about).

I'm wondering if this little episode was the good Lord's gentle reminder that I am not supposed to even be drinking soda - even if it is diet.  God seems to use the 2x4 method of education where I am concerned.  It does seem to get the point across.
So, no soda for Katie.  If I keep this up, I won't be able to drink anything except water, or eat anything except artichokes and flaxseed. 

Okay, it's not that bad, but I really don't want to give up soda, I like Diet Pepsi.  I hate the way I felt this afternoon, but I do like Diet Pepsi.
So I guess the real question is - Do I like soda as much as I like breathing?

My Corner

I have my favorite spot in the living room.  It is in the corner of our sectional where we have a chaise.  Next to it is my end table with all my "stuff" on it, it is rather a comfy, cozy place to be.  I feel safe, secure and happy in my little corner.  My old friend Couch Potato has made it the perfect spot to be.  He irritates me to no end!

I have been making a great effort to spend less and less time in my favorite little corner.  I've been out walking, now I have my awesome new bike.  My boys even went out and got me a jump rope and a hula-hoop!  No reason that exercise has to be boring right?   I think they have decided that as I seem to be a perennial 10 year old, they are just going to go with that and get me exercise "toys", sorta like a puppy or something.

Where am I going with this little ramble?  Motivation.  For a former confirmed former couch potato, how do you stay motivated to keep exercising and resist the lure of the sofa? 

The 5K gave me a goal to work for, I do well with goals,  so we have a couple more planned.  They are posted.  That was such a wonderful day, I am really looking forward to the next one!

The boys got me a bike for my birthday so that we can ride as a family.  The more things we can do together, spend time together, the better we all seem to like it.  Any chance that I can get to spend time with my husband, I'll take it, especially if there is an opportunity for some fun!

We have been out doing yard work and gardening.  That not only helps with the exercise, it makes the yard look nice, makes me happy, as I love my flowers, and keeps us fed, as we are growing some vegetables.  That one is a win on many levels.

I guess the trick is, to find something that you can love and that makes you excited.  If you don't like it, you won't do it.

My corner is empty now more often than not, but in the evening, I still like to settle in and snuggle with my husband, there is no better way to end a day.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

If it's Sunday, it must be Weigh In Day!

Weigh in results first:
Wonderful loving husband:  -1.5 lbs Yea Hubby!!
Charming son:  Stayed the same - Good job Boy!!
Me:  down .5 lbs (the scale may not be broken after all!)

I am always amazed at how wonderfully supportive my family is.  For my birthday they bought me a beautiful, shiny, new bike.  I feel like a little kid again!  It's red.  My first 10 speed was red (Wow! Was that a lot of years ago).  

They are trying to help me stay on track and thought this would be a good way to change up my exercise routine.   What an amazing gift!  

We had breakfast at my favorite restaurant and then my son made me the most wonderful dinner out of our new Dtour cookbook.  It was Chicken with a cucumber and yogurt sauce.  It was amazing!

Yesterday went a long way toward helping me adjust my mental attitude and helping me establish a much more positive outlook.  Other people in my life may not appreciate me or my skills, but my family sure does love me!

Myron and Couch Potato are sneaky, sneaky beings.  They are trying everything they can think of to undermine me, on many different fronts.  I'm not going to let them.  I am going to stand strong.  It's easier with those I love around me.


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Happy Birthday to me

I'm taking my day off from posting today, as it is my birthday.

See you all tomorrow.

Friday, May 21, 2010

I've been thinking a lot today about mental attitude.  I've been down lately for some reason, I'm not sure why.  But some things that have been happening this week got me to thinking about my 'edge' and my 'passion'.  They haven't gone away, but somehow I think some type of apathy slipped in when I wasn't watching and took root.

People around me are angry and unhappy.  Again, I don't know why.  But I have been letting that effect me, I've been reacting to it.  Not good, not a cool thing to do.

I have to pull my head out of all the menusha going on around me and focus back on the matter at hand.  I have to do something that is really hard for me to do, I have to put myself first, before some other people, and other things in my life.  I need to remember what is important.

This is an idea that is totally foreign to me, it is going to be difficult to put myself ahead of others, but if I can keep focus, I can do it.

I have made a lot of progress, I need to keep going, to do that I need to stay positive.  I have to keep my motivation and my mood up.  I just did a freaking 5K!  If I keep working at it, just think where I could go!

That's it - along with shaking up the meal plan, we are shaking up the mental attitude!  Take that Myron!  I win again!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Myron Strikes Again

Okay, I guess this plateau thing was/is bothering me more than I thought it was.  I was having a difficult time waking up this morning (like that's any different from any other morning?); so I swung through Starbucks on my way into work.

I have my Latte down to a science so I know it is exactly 1 carb and there is no sugar at all in it.  Somehow, Myron must have taken over my body, because as I was ordering my coffee, I heard this voice (was that really mine!?) ordering a banana chocolate chip coffee cake , it is low-fat - but, I mean, really!

I pulled ahead and began to have a conversation with myself.  "I can just tell the girl up front that I was having a "moment" and I can't really have the cake.  She's a female, she'll understand, right?"

"Exactly, I told myself, all females understand the momentary weakness that is the call of chocolate and sweets, she'll take it off the bill and give you your coffee and it will be fine."

I pulled up to the window, confidant that my blunder could be easily fixed.  I rolled down my window and smiled up at  . . . . the young college GUY who was there to take my money and hand me my coffee cake and coffee.  Guys don't understand the "moment" thing.  What was I going to do now?

Gritting my teeth, I handed over my money and took the now offensive bag containing the coffee cake (that smelled heavenly) and drove on to work.  What was I going to do now?  If I had to smell that cake for another 30 seconds I was going to eat it?  Why do I do these stupid things?  I know better!  Really I do!  Do I enjoy torturing myself?  I must, because now I'm sitting in the car with a fresh cup of coffee and wonderfully smelling coffee cake that was begging to be eaten.

I pulled into the parking lot, and there to my immense relief was the answer to a prayer.  Our cleaning lady was there!  I leaped out of the car and said "You have to help me!"  I had to have sounded a bit frantic because she immediately said.  "Sure, whatever you need.  What can I do?"

I shoved the bag in her hand and said.  "Eat this, PLEASE!!!"  I ran up the steps to unlock the door.  "Just keep it away from me!"

She shook her head laughing,  "You are so funny!  Thanks, I missed breakfast this morning."

Crisis averted.  I'm still blaming Myron!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Plateaus - the big beat down

I cheated.  I stepped on the scale in the middle of the week to 'peek'.  I know, I'm not supposed to, but I couldn't help it.  I'm getting to my wits end with this plateau I seem to be stuck on.  I didn't sign up for this campaign to sit on a plateau and stagnate!   That is NOT the plan!  You would think my body would understand that by now.

Someone made a comment in a response to my post yesterday about "switching up" the diet a bit.  I've been thinking about that all evening.  Maybe I need to shake things up a bit.  I can increase and vary the exercise.  I have a birthday coming up, and if the birthday bird has been paying attention, there is a new bike in my future, that should help shake things up a bit.  Provided it arrives.  If not, I know something else wonderful will be there instead.  My family won't let me down.

I believe that I'm going to go back and hit the books and see what I can come up with as far as shaking up the Dtour diet a bit.  Perhaps I need to go back and revisit the 2-week fast start again, or re-look at the menus and see what I can cut or do with them.

Down, but never defeated.  I'll come up with a new plan and share with all of you!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Is "the knife" the only answer?

I'm sitting here, adding new links to the runs and walks that we are going to be doing and half-watching a show on CNBC called "One Nation, Overweight".  It is about the Obesity epidemic in the US.  They just said that 85% of adults are overweight and/or obese.  So why are all the stores still selling all those size 0,2,4,&6 clothes, did they not get the memo?

What was just said that totally blew me away was this Doctor who said that Bariatric Surgery is about the ONLY solution for those who are between 50 and 100 pounds overweight!  Is that man nuts?  Okay, I understand that he is a surgeon, but come on!  You are fat and therefore unable to take care of yourself.  The only answer is for us to remove half of your stomach and teach you a lesson.

I put the weight on over a long period of time.  I don't' expect it to come off in a month, or even a year.  I do expect it to come off.  I expect that I have to work hard, make difficult choices, exercise (no matter how much I hate it) and reeducate myself and my family about how to eat properly.  

It's a process, an experience, a journey.  Something that would be lost by having some scalpel wielding bozo cut me open and remove half of my stomach!  What is learned by that.  When you screw up, take the easy way out?  Don't bother learning anything, it can all be solved by cutting you open.

Does the scalpel dude also insert a proper eating hormone or something?  Does he insert an implant that only lets you eat healthy food?

I'm sorry, I should get off my soap box.  It's just. . .maybe not everything is supposed to be easy.  These things are hard for a reason.  It takes time to retrain and reeducate yourself.

I don't know about anyone else, but slow and steady is working much better for me than the Bozo.

Surgery is the only solution?  Dude, my name is Katie, I'm on the Dtour diet and I have another solution for you!

Monday, May 17, 2010

And now. . . .More Fractured Fairy Tale

Our brave Princess, in her struggle up her hill, set herself a goal.  Her objective was to join a race with many other people from the kingdom.  She thought, if she had a definite goal in sight, it might make her journey easier somehow.

The day of the race came and our Princess was nervous and fearful that she wouldn't be able to finish the race.  Her two Princes were by her side as always, as was her mother; and to her great relief, her closest friend Anna had also come along to lend her support.  With her wonderful band of champions around her, our brave Princess began her race.

Never ones to let her have things easy, Couch Potato and Myron were close behind, whispering negative thoughts in her ears, telling her she was tired and unable to complete the race.  Myron zapped blisters on her feet and Couch Potato made the sun beat on her face and sapped all of the strength from her muscles.

Whenever the Princess started to stagger and grow tired, her Prince or her friend Anna would encourage her, smile, or just squeeze her hand.  Those simple actions bolstered  our Princess enough that she could ignore her tormentors and carry on.

Finally the finish line came into view, our Princesses heart took flight, the Prince looked at her with great pride and love in his eyes.  Her friend Anna smiled and congratulated her.  "I knew you could do it!" 

Upon seeing the Princess' success, Myron threw such a tantrum that he stomped himself deep into the ground!  Couch Potato spread his wings and took flight, vowing to stop the Princess next time.

The Princess didn't even see them go; she was far too busy celebrating her success and planning her next adventure!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Hardest Part.

Whoever said The hardest part of any endeavor is to begin, LIED.  The fool didn't know that the hardest part is at approximately mile 2.5 where some idiot put a *%&#$@ hill!!  Who's idea was that?

Today was the day.  5K day.  The day I had been in equal parts dreading and excitedly anticipating.  You all know I was afraid that I would end up face down on the pavement with little old ladies stepping over me.  You will all be happy to know that I have no sneaker prints on my back.  Not one little old grandma with a walker accosted me the entire walk. (What a relief that was!).  I finished in 68 minutes with my two staunch supports on either side of me.  My best friend on one side and my husband on the other.  They stuck with me the whole way, both determined to keep me going.   I only had one really weak moment.  Luckily, there was a nice man standing on the corner cheering everyone along who looked right at me and said.  "You're almost there.  The top of this hill is right around the corner!"  I was so glad he was right!  If I would have had the energy I would have gone back and kissed his feet.

The finish line was upon us before I really realized it and Hubby and friend were both grinning at me telling me they were proud of me and they knew all along that I could do it.  
The Boy was running with a timing chip and his time was 33 minutes!  I am so proud of him, I feel like bursting!  He was by himself, but he was determined to finish and finish he did, with a great time for his first 5K!  We have a couple of great photos of him crossing the finish line!

I can not believe that I did it!  I feel like a little kid.  I set a goal, one that seemed out of my reach at the time and today I walked a 5K - that is 3.1086 . . . miles for those of you that are interested.

From Couch Potato to 5K in 8 weeks!  I did it.  If I can do that, the rest of this weight will be easy, right?

There is a Step Out walk for Diabetes in November.  Anyone want to be on my team?

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Tonight by the time everyone got home and settled, no one wanted to cook, no one wanted to come up with something for dinner, heck, no one even wanted to go into the kitchen and open the fridge!

Solution?  Applebees to go!  Yea Applebees!  Pulled up the menu and, as we were all hungry, everything looked good!  Hubby and the boy decided that they were going to have super spicy burgers.  I thought a really gooey burgers sounded good too!  Then I had second thoughts and mentioned my misgivings to the boys.  Their response?  "You've been good for so long, go ahead; splurge a little."  So I did, I ordered a salad with grilled chicken!  Ha ha, fooled you, you thought I ordered the burger didn't you!

This got me to thinking about all the excuses I have used over the years.  Here's a good one, I'm a stress and comfort eater.  How much of a cop out is that?  I was eating to comfort myself and relieve my stress?  How exactly does that work?  When ever I gained more weight I freaked myself out, creating more stress, causing more stress related eating, freaking myself out , creating more. . . .you get the idea.  I was causing my own problem here!

How about the comfort thing?  Was I really comforted by a cake and some ice cream?  Could the cake listen to my problems?  Would the ice cream offer me a shoulder to lean on and sage advice to help me with whatever was bothering me?  No, it would only sit like a rock in my stomach and make me bloated which would only make me feel worse.

It doesn't seem that I was helping myself at all here!  My excuses were just that, lame attempts to soothe my conscience so that I could eat whatever I wanted and not feel guilty!  It worked for awhile.  But now, look how much work I have to do to rid myself of all the 'comfort' I provided myself all these years.

I've never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the box, and I am usually much quicker on the uptake.  But man!  It sure took me long enough to catch on!  Sometimes I make myself so angry!

Tomorrow is the race, I am going to cross the finish line and not be the last person across!  I am going to prove to myself once and for all that I can do this.  If I can do this, I can lose all this stupid "comfort weight" that I put on.

Until tomorrow. . .

Friday, May 14, 2010


It's Friday!  Friday around here means one thing, burritos!  I got to thinking tonight as I was putting the burritos together how much things have changed in the last few months around here.  Our favorite meal is the best example I can think of.

I married a Southern California boy.  Early on in our marriage, I started making wet burritos for him about once a week.  Just a way to make him feel at home here in Michigan.  While he had had lots of burritos in his life, he'd never had a "wet" burrito until he met me.  He's a convert now.  Somehow, this nice thing I did has grown into one of those family traditions.  Friday night is burrito night.

Here are the changes that have been made to our traditional meal since we started on Dtour.  The meat is now 93/7 if we can find it, no more fatty meat in this household!  The overall size of the individual burritos has decreased by about 40%, and no one has died of starvation yet.  We use only fat free refried beans now.  The cheese and sour cream are low-fat, sorry, I can't do the fat free (they are just plain gross).  Everyone gets less sauce on their burritos as well.

You see, it really is easy to "make over" your regular meals.  Add a few more veggies and we'd have a home run!  We try to make a game of it.  Try it.  See who can come up with the best and least expensive way to make over a favorite meal.  It doesn't have to be hard, boring work.  We try to make a game out of it!  (I think that is because we are just 3 little kids at heart, but it works for us).

Two more days to the 5K.  I am getting a tremendous amount of support from all of my friends and loved ones!  It warms my heart and gives me a huge boost of confidence to know that so many people have so much faith in me.  I am determined not to let anyone down!  If I have to cross the finish line on all fours, that is how I'll cross it, but I will cross it!

Until tomorrow. . .



I need to start posting earlier on Therapy Days.  I get home, with a migraine, attempt to eat something and then I am done for the night.  I hate that!  So, here is my late post from last night.

Just a couple more days until the 5K and I am still nervous.  My goal is to just finish.  It looks like they only give the walkers 45 minutes.  I may be the last one across the line, but I intend to cross it.  I have a new secret weapon!

My best friend called me last night to tell me that she signed up for the race.  She has been really busy lately with work and I know she really doesn't have the time or the desire to walk 3.5 miles.  So why is she doing it?  For me!  She is doing it as a way of supporting me.  My friend is going to walk with me.  Everyone else can go on ahead and do their own thing, my wonderful friend will stick by me at whatever pace I set.

I am a lucky woman to have been blessed with such a wonderful friend.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Dessert Minefield

Well, we are back from the Band Awards Dessert Banquet.  The awards part was awesome, I am always struck by the close relationship that the Band Directors have with our students.  The Banquet part on the other hand. . . well. . . .

We walked into the cafeteria and there was this long table set up.  I swear it went on for at least 2 miles!  On it was stacked every flavor and form of cake, pie, cookie, and cupcake you could imagine.  Then there was another table that held huge containers of wonderfully creamy Ice Cream and next to it was set out almost every type of topping you could imagine.  I think I may have been in hell!  

All around me people were carrying plates loaded to overflowing with gooey, rich desserts and bowls brimming with sinfully good ice cream sundaes!  Everyone was laughing and talking and having a wonderful time.  No one else could hear what I heard.  That damn table full of desserts was calling my name.

Clear as a bell, especially the chocolate goodies, they were the loudest.  "Katie, come on, just one bite.  One taste won't hurt anything.  One little bite won't kill you.  Try me, try me, I'm yummy and good."  I looked around at all of these people and wondered why no one else heard the talking food.

Probably because everyone else there was sane?  Just a guess.  I sat down with my back to the food table.  Unfortunately, this put me facing the ice cream table, but it was the best I could do.  I tried to talk to my mom and my friends that were there and tried really really hard not to look at the plates that they all had in front of them.

By the time we left, I swear I was about ready to chew my arm off; but I still hadn't touched a thing!  I received a couple of weird looks and my mom kept telling me I was quiet and my eyes were funny, but other than that I think I survived very well!

I feel like I just walked through a minefield and made it safely to the other side!

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

Tonight is the Band Awards Ceremony at the High School.  The Boy is in band, so off we go.  This is a perilous situation for me, last year I actually fled from the event in fear.  What is so scary about band awards you ask?  It isn't the awards themselves that are frightening, it's the "reception" afterward.  You see it's a DESSERT BUFFET!!

Last year, I was newly diagnosed with Diabetes and so the fleeing actually made sense.  I had not yet gained much self control and thought deserting the field (pardon the pun) was a much better course of action, than hanging around and being tempted by all the yummies!

This year, I'm stronger, but I'm not sure if I'm that strong. . . . . 

After all, I stepped on the scale this morning and I was up a pound!  I hate that so much!  So I'm swinging into full countermeasures:  tighter portion control, more walking (please Mother Nature, let me get out there and walk!), and I need to be very, very careful what I am eating at night!  It's easy to slip, and every little slip seems to show on the scale.  It is so critically important to me that I do this, and do this correctly.

Can I really face a room full of cakes, cookies, pies and ice cream?  We'll see.  I promise an additional post this evening to let you all know what happened!

On another note, I have had many requests for new photos.  I will be posting updated photos after the 5K on Sunday.  A friend is bringing his camera to record the event for us and he has gotten to be a very good photographer!

Until tonight, wish me luck!

Monday, May 10, 2010

5K and nerves

This is the week, the 5K is on Sunday.  I'm actually nervous!  It's been really cold here and not conducive to walking.  Then there is therapy, which gives me a migraine, so there is no walking after that; and this week is a full Band Parent schedule.  This does not leave me a lot of time for last minute prep!  Are these all reasonable or am I making excuses?  Sometimes it's hard for me to tell.

I really want to do this.  I made a commitment, I need to follow through, I want to follow through, I'm just having horrible mental images of collapsing in the middle of the street half way through the walk and then all these little old ladies (70, 80, 90 years old) will just step over me, shaking their heads in disgust as they step briskly on down the road, leaving me laying there like 5K roadkill.

I voiced my concerns to my boys and they immediately leaped to my defense.  The Boy insisted that I can do it and I am awesome!  I guess Mother's Day has been extended!  I did feel much better after talking with them though.  I think they may be right, I can do this!  I've done everything else that I have set out to do in the last few months, so why can't I conquer the 5K?

Sunday, 2PM Kalamazoo, be there!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day and More

Housekeeping out of the way first, even if it's Mother's Day, it's still Sunday, and Sunday means weigh in;  however we have experienced what I believe is a technical difficulty.  I have come to the conclusion that our scale is broken!  Stupid thing!

Me:  Stayed the same.  :(
Wonderful Hubby:  +1 lb.
The Boy:  We don't know.  He was so busy making me breakfast in bed, he forgot to weigh in.  We will forgive him this week, especially because breakfast was AWESOME!!!

Food is love.  No matter what sort of eating regime you are on, food is and will always be a way for us to express love and comfort to those we care about.  

Case in point is what my wonderful son did for me today.  I was greeted with coffee and breakfast in bed!  The Boy actually figured out how to "Dtour" my favorite breakfast of all time Eggs Benedict!  It was wonderful and only 1 carb!!

The present that came with my very thoughtful and lovely card was a stainless steel water bottle for me to use when I walk!  He spent the day with me and then made his specialty for dinner, lasagna.  I went to the store with him and watched in amazement as he searched for ingredients that were low-fat, low-carb, and no sugar.  He even found a mousse mix that was 1 carb and sugarfree (it was really good!)  

I was stunned by the depth of caring and sensitivity he showed today.  Everything he did was to demonstrate how much he loved and cared about me.  Not only me, but about our new eating plan and what we are trying to do as a family.  He not only picked out some of my favorite meals, he made sure that the way they were prepared was on plan!  He sat down and figured out how to "Dtour" my favorite recipes!  That takes a lot of thought, time, and some research online.  Nothing could make me feel more special!

Food is love.  I am loved and cared for by a son who is determined to help me stay around for a very long time.  What more wonderful gift could a mother ask for?

What are people thinking?

Because I had to work today, my "keep Katie on track" program "You Are What You Eat" was recorded for my later viewing pleasure.  After dinner, hubby settled down on the sofa with me to watch an episode that I hadn't seen before.

This particular program dealt with a young woman (not yet 30) who loved "Chips" (British for French Fries, potato chips are called crisps.  See what you learn when you watch BBC!).  I may have mentioned this before, but Gillian always confronts her 'victims' with a table loaded with everything they have eaten in a week.  Now, this young woman knew what she had eaten, she had put it in her own mouth!  Yet, when she saw the loaded table, she burst into tears and went all but hysterical.  While it made for good TV, I found it rather confusing.

Even when I was eating badly, I was aware of what I was eating, sort of.  I knew that I should not be eating all the things that I was.  But for someone to stand there and actually cry in shock over what they ate in a week just totally blew me away!

Are there really people out there who have no clue what they are putting in their mouths?  What they are dumping into their bodies every day?  I'll admit that I have learned a lot since starting this transformative  journey; but come on!  I cannot conceive that anyone would be that clueless!

I did have an odd experience in the grocery store the other day though, come to think of it.  Mr. Hormone has taken to yelling and being super crabby in the morning when mention is made of breakfast.  To solve this latest irritating attack of teenage rebellion, I got a cheap blender ($8.00 no lie!)  I swung through the grocery isles to pick up yogurt, OJ, bananas and some frozen fruit to whip up breakfast smoothies (something he is guaranteed to eat); when I saw some new frozen fruit things by Yoplait.  They are "smoothie blends"  Each $4.00 package made 2 smoothies and each smoothie contained a 1/2 serving of fruit.  As is now my habit, I flipped the package over to read the nutrition info.  The second, third, fourth, and fifth ingredients were SUGAR and there was FAT in it!  Has anyone else ever seen fruit with fat in it before?  I sure haven't.  Those Yoplait people really had to work on that one! 

So, I guess the moral of this story is that we need to be aware of what we are shoveling down our gullets and we need to take the time to read the nutrition labels in the stores; it's a hassle, but most the time the pay off is a bit of comedy.   For example; do you know that there is pre-packaged , pre-cooked chicken strips for Mexican food that has artificial chicken fat food product in it?  What is that about?  Dude, if I'm going to take a hit by eating fat, can I at least have the real stuff?  That is just wrong!

Friday, May 7, 2010


We have this mirror at the end of our hallway upstairs.  It's sort of a weird place for a full length mirror, but the hall is rather dark and it does help bounce light around, so once you get used to seeing someone walking toward you when you come out of the restroom in the middle of the night, it's okay.

Yes, there is a point to this ramble.  After chatting with people at the concert last night I happened to pause in front of the mirror on my way to get dressed this morning.  You know, I think someone different is beginning to look back at me!

It's just not the cheekbones that you can actually begin to see, or the fact that I think I lost a chin (thank goodness!).  My skin looks . . . better, more healthy and not so pasty, and my hair has stopped thinning and is much shiner than it was!  I'm thinking it's all the flax seed.  That is some good stuff there!

I thought I was on this journey for one reason:  lose weight = lower blood sugar.  I am so far beyond that point now, I'm not sure I can even see it in the rear view mirror!  I'm planning a place in the back yard to do Tai Chi, and grow herbs and looking at bikes!  I've signed up for a 5K and have gone back to eating a lot more vegetarian than I had before.  

I haven't had a fast food hamburger since February!  I'm seeing progress here folks!  

I think I might actually be proud of myself!  (another first!)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Friends - the best kind of encouragement!

Tonight was the final concert of the year for the band; this particular concert is always a highlight and NOT to be missed.  It meant rushing home, grabbing a sandwich at Subway (plan approved) and flying up to the school, but it was way more than worth it!

It is also a wonderful opportunity to check in with friends you haven't seen in awhile, as everyone shows up for the Collage Concert.  Pretty much everyone I ran into who hadn't seen me in awhile had a compliment or a comment to make about how good I was looking!  I was starting to float on a little cloud!

Then I saw my closest friend, she had come to see Mr. Hormone play.  I was on the balcony when she saw me and I waved to her.  She looked at me and shook her head, indicating that I was to come down to her.  Not thinking anything of it, I left the group I was with and dashed down the stairs to go and greet her.  When I hit the bottom of the stairs, I noticed an evil little smile on her face.  "We can go sit up in the balcony if you want."  She told me.  "I just wanted to you run the stairs and extra time."

I grinned at her (a few months ago I would have been huffing and puffing and calling her names in my head!) and said that was fine, I'd go back up with her.  She grinned back and replied.  "I know, and I'm not going to feel bad about making you go up and down the stairs extra times either!"  Wow!  She really does care!

I stayed on plan, got in a bit of extra exercise, listened to some awesome music and received some much needed feedback from people I care about.  

Today was a good day!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Hubby was home with a horrible back problem today (no jokes, I didn't do it! [this time]).  I happened to be off so I spent today playing nurse to Mr. Grumpy, he doesn't do well on pain killers.

I spent part of the day rediscovering some of my favorites on the Dtour website and reminding myself why I like the program so much. I had been feeling myself beginning to drift and knew it was a bad omen.

Sometimes I feel like a little kid with a very short attention span.  You know, easily distracted by shiny things.  Except in this case, the shiny objects resemble hamburgers, greasy fries and ice cream.  (Note there is no mention of cake this time!)

I was reminded of how easy the Dtour plan is to follow.  You go online, plug the week in, tweak whatever meals you need to, print out your grocery list and that is pretty much all the thinking you have to do as far as meal planning goes!  It's actually pretty awesome!

Tack on the added benefit of the even blood sugars and we have a home run.  I need to stop being distracted by my sweet tooth.  Do you think I can find a dentist who will remove that for me?  That would make my life lots easier!

Today I am reaffirming to myself and all who are supporting me that I am putting my blinders back on and stepping back on the path of the straight and narrow.  I like feeling better much better than eating all those naughty indulgent things I've been thinking about anyway!

Hard, Again

One of the weird things about migraines, is that after awhile, your body (head) reacts oddly to certain things.  Take my physical therapy for example.  Apparently part of the reason that my elbow hurts and my hand goes numb and limp is that certain muscles, tendons, and nerves in my neck and shoulder are messed up.  I know, I'm wired weirdly too!  One of the ways that they "fix" this is to manipulate my neck and shoulder during therapy to help loosen those muscles and tendons.  Now, this bizarre sounding method is actually working.  The down side is that I come home from physical therapy with a migraine and am forced in a dark room with drugs for the duration.

What does this have to do with Dtour and my weight loss?  Nothing except that it is compounding an already difficult situation.  I am having a very difficult week (and it's only Tuesday - Oh joy!)  This week, I don't want to be careful about what I eat, I don't want to watch my carbs, or my fat intake or my blood sugar levels for that matter!  This week, at this very moment, I resent the whole damn thing!

Why am I writing this all down?  Shouldn't this be a forum where I am to be supportive and happy and encouraging?  Yeah, not this week!  Who would buy that all the time anyway?  I sure wouldn't.  I'd much rather hear from someone who says:  "This is hard!  This is a pain in the neck and I don't want to do it!"

I'm going to do it, because I made a commitment and I don't want to let myself or anyone else down - besides, the birthday cake fiasco is still fresh in my memoryBut right now, right this minute, I don't want to do this anymore.

Okay, pity party over.  Back to work.  Time to go plan menus for the week.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Weigh In

Another Sunday, another trip to the scales!

Wonderful hubby:  +1.5lbs - he has started a part time job at Home Depot in the Garden Department so will now be building muscle mass - Yea me!

Hormonal teenage son: -.5lbs - yea son!

Me:  -1 lb.  Yea me!  Guess the birthday cake didn't do me in after all - it just felt like it!  Cake bad!  So what do I get this year Birthday yogurt?  My very own Birthday veggie plate?  I know!  A Birthday Artichoke with a candle in it!  How festive is that?

I was supposed to have a list of alternative 3 pm snacks for you.  I'm still working on it.  That is a hard list to put together.  I have some ideas.  Baby carrots are good (but do you know they have a lot of natural sugar in them?  Weird huh?)  A handful of grapes are really good, nice and sweet and colorful at mid day.  But my new fav is walnut and dried fruit.  Can't beat it!  Yummy!  Gotta try that one.  I'll keep looking for some more.

We are at 2 weeks to the 5K and I am getting nervous.  We registered this weekend so we are set to go!  I can not believe I am actually doing this.  This is scary, scary, scary!  But I can do it!  I hope.

Plans are underway for the new website, I have the new webmasters working on ideas and plans and all things computer-like!

So, bring on the week, lots of walking and lots of mental prep to do!  I have to really psych myself up for this!!!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Object lessons - The only way to learn!

Wow!  I am such a slacker!  Did anyone else notice I didn't post yesterday?  Yeah, I saw that too.  Sorry about that, I don't even remember what was going on to distract me!  It must have been the end of a very long week.  I will endeavor to do better in the future.

Okay, groveling done.  I gave myself a bit of an object lesson today.  You know, one of those things when you do something you know you shouldn't do, but really want to; then the minute you do it, you discover why you should never have started the whole exercise in the first place?  (Could I write a more convoluted sentence?)

Today was the day that we celebrated my mom's birthday with my brother and his family.  We took mom out to breakfast, picked up her birthday present, and then we all had steaks on the grill at Mom's house.  Sounds good, right?  So far so good.  The downfall?  BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!  

After three months of being "good" and staying away from all the things that I used to love, I gave in, with the blessing of my two boys.  They decided that a small piece of cake would be okay, as long as I scaled back on some other things.  I had a small piece of the sinfully wonderful cake that we got for my mom and nephew, it was rich, and chocolaty, and creamy!  And within a half hour I had a horrible headache and the worst stomachache I can ever remember having!   

So, what did I learn today boys and girls?  While my eyes and my brain remember loving cake, my body is now totally repulsed by the idea and apparently has no problem letting me know all about it!

I'm choosing to take this little lesson as a good thing!  If I can only concentrate on the way I feel right now every time I look at cake, then maybe all of my former warm, fuzzy, happy cake memories will be changed into icky, sick cake associated feelings!

Bazinga!  Folks we have a silver lining!!!!  

Excuse me, but I have to go have a cup of nice soothing tea now. . . .