Excuses

Tonight by the time everyone got home and settled, no one wanted to cook, no one wanted to come up with something for dinner, heck, no one even wanted to go into the kitchen and open the fridge!

Solution?  Applebees to go!  Yea Applebees!  Pulled up the menu and, as we were all hungry, everything looked good!  Hubby and the boy decided that they were going to have super spicy burgers.  I thought a really gooey burgers sounded good too!  Then I had second thoughts and mentioned my misgivings to the boys.  Their response?  "You've been good for so long, go ahead; splurge a little."  So I did, I ordered a salad with grilled chicken!  Ha ha, fooled you, you thought I ordered the burger didn't you!

This got me to thinking about all the excuses I have used over the years.  Here's a good one, I'm a stress and comfort eater.  How much of a cop out is that?  I was eating to comfort myself and relieve my stress?  How exactly does that work?  When ever I gained more weight I freaked myself out, creating more stress, causing more stress related eating, freaking myself out , creating more. . . .you get the idea.  I was causing my own problem here!

How about the comfort thing?  Was I really comforted by a cake and some ice cream?  Could the cake listen to my problems?  Would the ice cream offer me a shoulder to lean on and sage advice to help me with whatever was bothering me?  No, it would only sit like a rock in my stomach and make me bloated which would only make me feel worse.

It doesn't seem that I was helping myself at all here!  My excuses were just that, lame attempts to soothe my conscience so that I could eat whatever I wanted and not feel guilty!  It worked for awhile.  But now, look how much work I have to do to rid myself of all the 'comfort' I provided myself all these years.

I've never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the box, and I am usually much quicker on the uptake.  But man!  It sure took me long enough to catch on!  Sometimes I make myself so angry!

Tomorrow is the race, I am going to cross the finish line and not be the last person across!  I am going to prove to myself once and for all that I can do this.  If I can do this, I can lose all this stupid "comfort weight" that I put on.

Until tomorrow. . .