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Thursday, April 12, 2012

The state of things.

The boy is getting ready to graduate and head off to college.  Yes, I am facing an empty nest, I think I can handle it. . . Hopefully.

Anyway, I've been having these awful dreams lately.  Last night's was especially horrible.  I dreamed that The Boy was graduating college and he was speaking at graduation.  Seems perfectly innocuous, right?

He started his speech by saying that his mother had always been very supportive and always there to lend a hand, or a shoulder to lean on.  He only wished that she could be there now to share in the day with him.

Talk about waking up in a cold sweat!

That dream has been haunting me all day long!  I cannot let it happen!  If I miss his graduation, what about marriage and grandchildren?  I could miss it all!  I don't want that!

Coincidentally, I have been thinking that I need to find something to become obsessed with.  I figure if I immerse myself in something to help me get over my empty nest.

How easy do you think it is to become obsessed with exercise?  It's supposed to be addictive, right?

As long as I'm confessing here, I might as well get it all out.  I have been eating in secret.  I don't really understand why, either!  I just have felt the need to wait until everyone is out of the house and then sneakily eat things that I am not supposed to.

I am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.  I don't understand why I'm doing it?  I need to stop.  I figure getting it all out now will help sort of purge it from my system.

I need to be in a seat next to my wonderful husband at that graduation.