I've heard the phrase "Hitting the wall" from friends that run and pursue other high impact sports. I never really understood what that meant until today.
Driving home today I had the most incredible craving for chocolate. Chocolate, sugar, candy, especially peeps. I love peeps. So there I am tooling down the road and all I can think about is how wonderful a candy bar would taste, better yet a dark chocolate Godiva bar with raspberry filling! Barring that I was ready to stop in at the market and make a dash down the candy isle with an empty cart. I figured it would only take me about 45 seconds to fill it!
My palms started to sweat and I actually began to feel panic. I knew what this was. This was the day! This was the day that I was going to bail. All of my life whenever I have attempted to lose weight when I hit a day like today, I bailed. I gave into that snot nosed little demon Myron and gorged myself on everything that I had denied myself.
In desperation, I called my mom, I knew she would be home, and if anyone on earth could keep me on the straight and narrow, she could. That's what mothers are for, right? Guess what? SHE WASN'T HOME!!! AAGGGHHH!!!!
My fingers automatically dialed my husband (it's a good thing one part of my body was thinking clearly!). He answered and talked to me and explained in a very patient voice why I really didn't want to bankrupt the family in the candy isle at Walmart.
I took the back way home so I avoided the "strip", the main road in our area with all of the fast food places and grocery stores - all of which sell candy.
I made it home and got to thinking about my conversation with my hubby, it reminded me of the type of call that an addict would make to their sponsor in a weak moment. That made my warped little mind think "There is an Alcoholics Anonymous, a Narcotics Anonymous, Smoker's Anonymous, it would follow that there would be a Chocoholic Anonymous , right?
Made sense to me (but remember, my mind was still on a hot fudge sundae and a package of pink peeps). I pulled up the internet and typed in www.chocoholicsanonymous.com. I am not kidding, there really is a site by that name. I got all excited, I'm thinking that I was going to find folks who were in the same boat I was. There was going to be a wonderful 12 step program, this was going to be easy I was going to be free of chocolate cravings forever! This was awesome! This was amazing! This was an answer to prayer!
THIS WAS A SITE FOR A CANDY STORE!!! I was stunned. It was so wrong on so many levels! www.chocoholicsanonymous.com is a flipping candy store!
That's like false advertising! Do they have laws like that in Australia? What is wrong with these people? I mean come on, people like me come to their page hoping for sympathy and understanding and what do we get? Buy chocolate from us and you can be a Freak! A Freak! No lie! Here is a quote from the site:
Become a FreakBy attending a Chocoholics party you have taken the first step in admitting your addiction to chocolate. We at the Chocoholics Anonymous Institute support your choice to join our exclusive club and want to reward your decision to not give up,. but give in!
When you attend 10 parties or host 5, and purchase chocoholics products at each party, you will be considered a Certified Chocoholic Freak.
These people are demented!
All that aside, it is now after 10:00 PM and I have broken through the wall. There are no endorphins on the other side of this one. But for me, something better came through. I made it through my worst day. I stayed on plan and held strong. I didn't do it all by myself, I leaned on my wonderful husband; and he kept his promise and helped me keep the dread dragon Couch Potato at bay!
I proved to myself today that I can do this, I can make it through even the worst of days. I may not have drinking or drug problem, my addiction is perfectly legal and is sold in each and every store. But as long as I have my family and friends to help me, I can push through anything.
But I'm never going to chocoholicsanonymous.com ever again!
Oh, by the by, their mission statement is:
Give me a break!DON'T GIVE UP . . .GIVE IN