Re-Commitment!

I've spent the day thinking (yes, my head hurts!) about what I want to do.   I've spent almost 7 months on this 'project'.  It has changed my life in so many ways; why would I want to quit now?  

Okay, so life isn't always fun.  As disappointing as that is, it's true.  I have hit a stage where I need to reevaluate and recommit.

End of the day . . . . I'm in this for the long haul!  I can do this.  I have to lose 20 pounds in the next two  months!  I want to go to the climbing wall with my boys and actually climb.

As I was thinking today, a long ago conversation crossed my mind.  Hubby and I were in the car and for some reason, I was talking about my weight.  I told him if I ever went over 200 lbs, I should be shot.  Wow!  Am I glad he didn't hold to it!  I would have been long dead and buried by now!

I want to get there, in the 2 month time period.  I can do this.

I don't know what I've been thinking!  I am not a quitter and I definitely don't give up when the going gets a little rough.

Plan for the week?  Here it is:

1. Make sure I hit the gym.
2. Make a menu and do a full grocery shopping
3. Plan ahead for meals away from home and devise a GOOD plan
4. Diversify lunches.
5. Perhaps go back to the 2 week kick start on Dtour.

I think that may help get me back on track.


TWO WEEKS TO THE STEP OUT WALK.  GO TO THE LINK AND HELP TEAM FREEDOM!  YOU CAN COME AND WALK WITH US OR BE A 'VIRTUAL WALKER' BY MAKING A DONATION TO THE TEAM!!

Waning Commitment?

No post last night due to migraine.  Those sneaky little devils can sideline just about anyone.  But I am stronger, better, faster (?) than any stupid head pain!

I realized yesterday as I was pulling my lunch from the fridge, that I was in a rut.  I have been having the same thing for lunch for quite some time.  Hummus, cut veggies, and gluten free crackers.  

When I got home and opened the fridge to pull something out for dinner, it was slim on dinner fixings and almost devoid of veggies!

Have I hit that moment?  That point where the determination finally yields to outside pressures and constraints?  When making time for planning and prepping takes a backseat to other schedules?

That can only happen if my passion and commitment has waned. Is that what has happened?  

Then now is when my commitment to this endeavor is to be tested.  Can I continue when it becomes difficult?  When it will take extra time and planning in an already packed schedule?  

Yes.  Fortunately, I'm off today so I can spend some time reviewing  my Dtour books and get myself back on track.  I've come too far to quit now!

Cravings

Remember the cake I wanted yesterday?  Yeah, the cravings kept getting worse.  Ever the supportive husband, hubby went out and got some cupcakes!  It was a very reasonable compromise.  I got a hit of cake and a very good portion control.

Then I began to feel a bit guilty about my slip up, so I went seeking answers on my favorite websites.  You'll never guess what I found on diabeticlivingonline.com; an entire feature on Cravings!

Eat What You Truly Love

There are very few foods you can't have, although you do have to stay within your meal-plan allowance and possibly count carbohydrates. If you really love chocolate, eat it and count it. But don't give in to a craving for something you like but could live without

Yea!!  Now I don't have to feel so guilty!!  Since the first part of the feature made me feel better, I read on; good thing I did because the next next slide was even better!

Change Your Food-Behavior Labels

When you eat that food you love, enjoy it. Don't label your behavior as "cheating" or "failure." Success is in the balance.

Okay, that will take some work, but I think that I can do that!  I have to learn that I can indulge once in awhile and not feel guilty or like I'm throwing all of the months of hard work and effort away.  I think a little part of me is afraid that if I let myself have a small treat, I'll devour everything.  It's silly, but that seems to be wandering around in my brain.

I had enough control with the cupcake last night and that seemed to curb the cravings enough.

I think I'll have to go check out the rest of the article on diabeticlivingonline.com! 

I Want Cake!

Conversation this evening:

 Me:  "I want cake."

Hubby:  I love you."

Me:  "I want cake."

Hubby:  "Yup, you do."

End result:  I still want cake, but I guess I'll deal with it.   Although, a little more sympathy wouldn't hurt anyone!

I'm sorry that I missed a couple of days, we had no cable (storms) on Friday and Saturday was a huge band event and we were gone all day and not back until very late.  But we saw lots of awesome marching bands!

I had a horrible experience yesterday that I hope to never repeat again.  Hubby and I were hosting bands (escorting visiting bands) all day.  Our schedule was pretty much back to back.  We would finish with one band and the next band would be pulling up in their buses.  It didn't leave much time for lunch.  I checked my blood sugar at one point and it was 85, letting me know that I was going to need to eat soon.  But there was a band waiting and I had to push on.  Hubby passed me a little bit later and stopped to check in.  He asked if I had eaten, and I suddenly realized that I was really cranky, had  a raging headache and felt dizzy and light headed.  I was in trouble!

Hubby went and found someone to cover for me so I could get something to eat.  I quickly checked my blood sugar.  60!  I have never had such a low number!  I got to the concession stand as quickly as I could and I don't even think I tasted the hamburger that I scarfed down!  I drank some water and went back to my band.  My sugar was back to normal withing a little while.

I still have a raging headache though, a nasty reminder that I cannot overlook things like that in the future!  Lesson learned the hard way.

I still want cake.

(Weigh in results - down 1 pound)

Be Careful What You Ask For!

My Grandmother always said, "Be careful what you ask for, you may get it."  Boy was she right!  

I went to my fist session today with our 'nice, young' trainer, David.  Last night, when we did our evaluations, he seemed so kind.  I don't know what happened to him between last night and this morning, but that facade was gone this morning!


The club has these machines called Kaiser machines.  I figure that they are named after the sadistic personality who created them as torture devices sometime in the middle ages!  They are these really evil machines that work with air pressure and that can be changed easily with the push of a button.  They would be really cool and fun, if they weren't inducing so much pain!

By the second machine I was hearing "Just one more.  You can push out just one more!"  I'm telling you, if it hadn't been so early in the morning, I would have slugged him!  


Why did I give up caffeine?  Who's bright idea was that?


By the time he was done with me, my arms and legs felt like jelly.  I thought about doing some cardio, but I don't think I could have climbed up on the treadmill!  So, instead, I crawled out to my little yellow bug and motored my way off to work.


Now, I just have to do it all over again tomorrow morning!

Feeling Fat Today

For some reason, I was feeling fat today.  I haven't felt that way in a long time, but today seemed to be my day.

Then Hubby and I went for our evaluations at the Health Club.  I don't feel fat and defeated anymore.  Tomorrow at 7 AM, I am going to meet with one of the trainers and learn how to use the equipment and take control of yet another part of my new reality. 

Even better, this nice young man whom we met tonight, David, he set a goal for me.  In two months, I am going to be under 200 lbs and sitting on top of the climbing wall in our local climbing gym! 

I was so afraid to take this step forward.  I don't know what I thought was going to happen, but I was actually afraid to go.  I went, it wasn't scary;my legs hurt, but that is about it.

Now we just have to see how I do at 7AM in the morning!

Thoughts and fears

I have lost roughly 58 pounds.  Since this journey began, I have lost almost 60 pounds.  I should be happy, right?  I should be thrilled!  I should be dancing on the clouds and rushing out to purchase all kinds of new clothing.

For some reason, ever since Friday, all I have wanted to do is eat cake, ice cream and any other sweet treat I can think of.  Thus far, I have avoided it, but I'm hanging on by my fingernails here!  (Fingernails which I have chewed down to the quick, by the way.)

I've had some issues like this before, but nothing like this.  This is out of control!  I don't know what is going on!  I just want it to stop!

We go to the Health Club tomorrow and I've had nightmares the last two nights that I step on the scale there and it breaks!  I think I'm losing it here!

Maybe Myron has found some new way to make me nutso!  If he has, it's working at the moment!

I have to get a handle on this or I'm going to go into the nearest bakery and clean them out!  Can you imagine what that would do to my blood sugar?  Oh my goodness, the boys would have to kick me out of the house, I'd be a raging lunatic!

Okay, deep breath; and again.  I can do this.  I've been doing this for awhile now.  I really don't want cake or cookies.  They will mess with my blood sugar, not to mention my stomach, and I will end up sick and jittery.

Deep breath.  My brain and stomach are not buying this, I need to try a new track.

I know,  I'll go to bed and read my new Janet Evanovich book.  That will keep my mind off things.  If Janet can't do it, there is no hope!

Good night!!

Exercise

As confirmed by yesterday's weigh in, the scale seems to be back in working order.  Thank goodness, I was worried there for a bit.

I have decided that I am not losing weight fast enough.  I don't know why I just decided this.  I just have.  So, I am going to increase my activity.  Sounds simple, right?  Yeah, for those wonderfully motivated folks it is easy as pie.  (Oh pie, I love pie.  I miss pie . . .)

Wednesday, Hubby and I have our appointments at the Health Club to meet with a trainer for our evaluations.  I'm a bit nervous.  How does one evaluate a couch potato?  Yup, your fat, your lazy and you need to move your butt!  Do you think he'll really say that?  I hope not.  Perhaps that is what I need to hear though?

I have this wonderful plan worked out in my head.  I can get up early, go to the club and work out, then get ready there and go into work.  Sounds good on paper, right?  Now I just have to have the determination to make it a reality.  That always seems to be my downfall.

Explain to me how I can give up chocolate and caffeine, forsake all of my favorite sweet snacks and cakes, yet  I find it impossible to stick to an exercise routine for any length of time?  Sometimes I baffle even myself!

I need to figure this out!  We have a walk coming up!  A big important walk!  The Step Out Walk is getting ever closer!

If you haven't signed up yet, go to the link and get involved!  You can walk with us, or be a virtual walker by donating online, or, do both!

We'll see if I can make it the whole 5K without complaining and whining this time!

New Recipe Night!

Bonus Post!  Had to post the new recipe we tried it was awesome; not to mention pretty!  I'm not kidding, it was pretty!  Take a look!

 This amazing looking dish comes to us courtesy of Diabetic Living .  It is called Crisp Chicken Parmesan and is absolutely WONDERFUL!

Best of all this incredibly filling plate of food is only 239 calories, 44 carbs, and 2 grams of total fat.  It also packs in grams of fiber and 13 grams of protein.  On an exchange diet it counts as 3 (count them 3!) vegetables, 2 starch, and 0.5 lean meat.  How cool is that?!

Olive oil nonstick cooking spray

1/4 cup refrigerated or frozen egg product, thawed, or 2 egg whites, lightly beaten

1 tablespoon water

1 clove garlic, minced

1 cup bran cereal flakes, crushed (about 1/2 cup crushed)

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning, crushed

1 pound chicken breast tenderloins

4 ounces dried multigrain or whole grain spaghetti

1 cup1-inch pieces eggplant, peeled if desired

1-1/2 cups purchased light tomato-basil pasta sauce

1 cup torn fresh spinach leaves

1/2 cup chopped plum tomatoes

Fresh basil leaves (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Line a 15x10x1-inch baking pan with foil; lightly coat foil with nonstick cooking spray. Set aside. In a shallow dish, combine egg, the water, and garlic. In another shallow dish, combine crushed bran flakes, Parmesan cheese, and Italian seasoning. 

2. Dip chicken pieces, one at a time, in egg mixture, turning to coat evenly and allowing excess to drip off. Dip chicken pieces in cereal mixture, turning to coat evenly. Place chicken pieces in a single layer in the prepared baking pan. Coat tops of chicken pieces with nonstick cooking spray. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink (170°F). 

3. Meanwhile, cook spaghetti according to package directions; drain and keep warm. Coat an unheated medium saucepan with nonstick cooking spray. Preheat saucepan over medium heat. Add eggplant; cook about 5 minutes or until tender, stirring occasionally. Add pasta sauce; heat through. Stir in spinach and tomatoes. 

4. Divide spaghetti among four serving plates. Top with sauce mixture and chicken pieces. If desired, garnish with basil. 

**Eggplant Parmesan: Prepare as above, except substitute eight 1/2-inch-thick slices eggplant* for the chicken. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until eggplant is tender and golden brown. (*Test Kitchen Tip: If you are making the Eggplant Parmesan, 1 medium eggplant should be just enough for the eight 1/2-inch-thick slices and the 1 cup pieces for the sauce.)

RECIPE FROM DIABETIC LIVING FALL 2009 OR ONLINE AT:
http://www.diabeticlivingonline.com/recipe/chicken/crisp-chicken-parmesan/

This was one of the best Sunday dinners we have had in a long time.  With the start of school, and band, and everything else that is going on, it was wonderful to sit down tonight as a family and enjoy this delicious meal together.

Try this one, it's a definite do over!

Humbled by the Kids

No post last night due to the late arrival time back from the first Marching Band Competition of the season.

Weigh in results first:
Me:  -2lbs.  Yea me!
Amazing Hubby:  -1 lb. (Okay, he's supposed to be going in the other directions, but as this blog is all about weight loss - Yea Hubby!!)
The Boy:  ??? The Boy is still asleep, as he is sick with a bad cold and has been for a few days, one of the many humbling things about last evening!

I don't know if you have ever been to a marching competition, but let me tell you, it's like nothing you have ever seen.  It is heaven for those people who like marching bands.  (My grandmother would have loved it!).  A day devoted to the bands, they take the field one after the other and perform their shows, their very elaborate and complicated shows.  There is a judging panel; and there are, of course, awards and bragging rights.

Now, the band that The Boy plays in is very good (No, I am not just being a proud mama.  There are a bunch of full trophy cases that will back me up.)  Actually they are probably one of the best bands in the state.  They work exceptionally hard and they always have an incredible show.

The Band Director's, who are outstanding people in their own right, write the music and the drill for our shows themselves; so our show is always unique.  Every year the music and drill get just a bit more complicated and difficult.  The band also competes at a Class A level, even though we are a Class B school.

All of that is already enough to be proud of, right?   Last night's performance brought pride to an entire new level.  The kids performed the show wonderfully, a feat that was perhaps highlighted due to the previous nights game performance where two of the band members fell during the complicated drill pattern!  By the end of the performance, most people in the stands were on their feet cheering and clapping (not just their parents)!

Afterward, I was on the track with the band while awards were handed out.  We took third place behind two much larger bands, who's music and drills were no where near as difficult as ours.   I turned around to say something to the kids and at least three of the young ladies were in tears.  I went to console one of them and the first thing she said to me was "We let the Director's down.  We didn't work hard enough."

Wow!  That blew me away!  These kids work harder than any group I have ever seen.  Last week they stood in the cold rain for two hours working on their drill until they had it where they wanted it!  They sacrifice their evenings and Saturday's for practice and competitions.  Yet, they were upset; not because they had come in third, but because they had let the Director's down!

That was humbling.  Why?  Earlier in the day I had been having a bit of a pity party for myself because I wanted chocolate and could not have any.  I wanted a greasy burger and thought it was unfair that I could not have one.  Yet, here stood this tiny young girl in front of me, upset that she had disappointed her Band Director by not working hard enough.

Lead by example?  Isn't that what we are supposed to do?  Last night my son's marching band reminded me of what working hard towards a goal was really about.

Thanks guys!

Watch that "Healthy" Snack!

My Prevention magazine came today.  It's always a fun read.  This issue had me laughing and groaning at the same time.  There is an article about not so healthy health foods.  Some of the things in it are downright depressing.

Here are a couple of my favorite examples:

A serving of whole-milk Greek yogurt can have more fat than 3 (count them 3!) small vanilla ice cream cones.

A glass of cranberry juice an have more sugar than 7 chocolate chip cookies.

Breakstone's Fat-Free Cottage Cheese as 400 mg of sodium per 4-ounce serving.    That's like eating  2 1/4  1-ounce bags of Lays potato chips!

 Prevention Magazine - October 2010

Does anyone else think this is terribly wrong?  Even when we are attempting to 'behave' and keep on the nutritional straight and narrow, we are sabotaged by the food industry!

Seriously, 400 mg of sodium in cottage cheese?  What is up with that?  Why would anyone even put salt in cottage cheese to begin with?  Is there some sodium cabal somewhere that pays massive dividends to the food industry when they overload our foods with sodium?

And if you are going to get that much fat from eating 'healthy' yogurt, hand over the ice cream!  That is just seriously wrong on so many levels!

These are some really good reasons to read labels!  We've gotten some strange looks in the market lately when we delay overlong reading labels, but it certainly pays off.  Just look at the above examples, if you don't think that is true enough.

We are responsible for what goes into our bodies.  Perhaps if we all decide to simply not purchase those foods that are masquerading as healthy , the food industry will finally get the notion that  maybe they should start working on some actual healthy foods.  Not just foods that appear to be healthy.

it's our choice, and in our control.  As my Daddy always said: The way to get someones attention is through their pocketbook.

Oh, how right he was!

New thoughts and goals.

In prepping for the upcoming Step Out Walk, I went looking for a photo of my Grandfather.  We have no really good photos of him.  Odd, right?  I thought so too.

I went to my two Aunts and, one of them, came through with flying colors and sent me and entire envelope stuffed with photos of my Grandfather, as well as other members of my Dad's family.

I stood there looking at the faces of a Grandmother and Grandfather that I had never gotten the opportunity to know and felt like crying.  I have heard stories of these two amazing people, my one Aunt is a dead ringer for my Grandmother, yet, I never had the chance to know them, at all.

It was one of those moments that drives home the true purpose of this entire journey.  I don't want my grandchildren to someday be looking at a photograph of me wondering what I was like.  

That said, the fact that the scale seems to be broken and stuck on the same number is causing a bit of frustration for me.  Since frustration isn't healthy and really does me no good, I opted to motivate myself by setting a couple of new goals.

1. When I reach my 'magic' under 200 lbs mark, I have asked my guys to take me climbing.  They both love to climb and whenever we have gone to the local indoor climbing wall I have always been forced to stand there and watch as they had all the fun.  No more.  It' MY time to have some fun!
2.  I am waiting on a decision from the University in regards to my acceptance.  If and when I do get in, I absolutely have to lose the weight!  Who's going to hire a fat Dietitian? 
3. Just once, I want to walk into one of those skinny people stores and buy something for me that actually fits without the pimple-faced, teeny-bopper clerks looking down their perky little noses at me.
4. I want to RUN a 5K ~ not walk one.
5. I want to go backpacking with my boys.  I miss that so very much!

Maybe I should post these on the fridge?  They may work better than a padlock!

Fall, Marching Bands, and . . . Preplanning?

I love Fall; it's my favorite season!  The air becomes comfortably cool, the trees put on a fabulous color show, and it's marching season!  Marching season rocks!

The Boy claims not to like marching, but I know better.  (I'm the mom, that's my job.)  Anyway, this time of year lots of Saturdays are spent in bleachers of various High Schools watching Marching Competitions.  What better way to spend a Saturday, than sitting in the crisp air listening to awesome music and watching really amazing shows!

Normally, meals on these days are either fast food or food from the concession stands, it's always been fine in the past, but that isn't going to fly anymore.  Now, I have to plan ahead and prepare.

For someone as spontaneous and impulsive as me, that is a difficult thing to do.  I'd much rather go with the flow.  That isn't an option anymore.  Planning is now the only way I can function.  *Sigh* Sometimes I sort of resent that!

Today, we gathered the cooler that we'll need and started to lay out a 'travel' menu; food that I can pack quickly and take along so that I'll be able to eat on schedule and I can avoid any unpleasant "low" (blood sugar)  moments.

I am learning to adjust my life around our new plan.  This lifestyle is so much better for us, so I guess it is worth the loss of spontaneity; but I think a small part of me will always miss the old me.

The new me is not so bad though, I'm happier and more energetic, and I certainly feel better.  So, perhaps that is worth the loss of impulsiveness.

PB&J not just for Kids anymore!

Some of my favorite childhood memories are Saturday mornings.  They were great, stretched out on the floor watching Scooby-do and Johnny Quest!  The perfect end to the lazy morning was a mom-made peanut-butter and jelly sandwich; life was good!

Where am I going with this little trip down memory lane?  Lunch.  I was trolling my favorite sites for new lunch ideas tonight and I kept coming up with an old friend, or variations on an old friend.  As with everything else, my childhood favorite seems to have grown up and thinned down. 

Here are some examples:

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

1. Take 2 regular slices of white bread (138)
2. Top one slice with 2 Tbsp peanut butter — chunky, creamy, reduced-fat, and natural all have about the same calories, so choose what you like (188)
3. Spread the other slice with 2 Tbsp of your favorite jelly (100)
4. Press the halves together

Total calories: 426

Grilled Almond Butter and Berry Sandwich

1. Take two slices of whole grain bread (160)
2. Make your own jam! Mash 1/4 pint fresh raspberries and spread it on one slice of whole grain bread (29)
3. Spread the other slice with 2 Tbsp almond butter (203)
4. Lightly coat outsides of bread with cooking spray. Place sandwich on large nonstick griddle or skillet over medium-low heat. Cook 5 to 7 minutes, turning halfway through, to brown both sides. Cut in half and serve.
Total calories: 392

0 waistline-friendly combos that satisfy midday hunger

PB&B Sandwich
1. Take a toasted whole wheat English muffin (136)
2. Spread each half with 1 Tbsp peanut butter (188 per 2 Tbsp)
3. Top each half with 1/4 cup sliced banana (66)
4. Eat as an open-faced sandwich with a side of 20 blueberries (16)
Total calories: 406

 

Peanut Butter and Jelly Spirals

	Source: dLife Peanut butter and jelly combined in a whole-wheat tortilla.   Rating:  Time: 2 minutes Cook Time: 1 minutes Difficulty: EASY   Ingredients 1 low carb tortilla (10-inch) , 7 1/2-inch diameter   1 1/2 tbsp reduced fat peanut butter   1 tbsp Fruit Spread, strawberry, 100% fruit         (or your favorite flavor) Directions 1 Place a medium nonstick skillet over medium heat for about 1 minute, or until warm. 2 Throw the tortilla in the skillet, cooking for 20 to 30 seconds per side or until just warm. 3 Place the tortilla on a cutting board. Spread the surface evenly with peanut butter followed by the fruit spread. Roll into a tube. 4 Slice into 8 equal pieces, placing onto a serving plate spiral side up. Serve immediately. Additional Information A different take on a childhood favorite, these peanut butter and jelly spirals can be made in practically no time at all.   Okay, so those recipes are from the wonderful folks at Prevention and Dlife!  Which tells us what?  That if I can find a television station running Scooby and Johnny Quest, I am set for Saturday!!  And it will even be on plan!!! Ya gotta love that!

Step Out with Team Freedom!

Two more donations came in today for Team Freedom for the Step Out Walk!  Yea!!  That makes me so happy and excited!

I am really looking forward to this whole experience!  Not only because it's another 5K, but because it is taking an active role in the fight against Diabetes on a more global level.  Yes, I struggle with it every day.  And yes, sometimes when I write about it here I may sound flippant and off hand about it.  But please do understand, I am anything but that!

 Team Freedom is walking and raising money to further Diabetes research.  We have come so far in the last few years, new monitors, new insulin and medications; but there is still so very much further to go.


Okay, I know this isn't my normal entry; but really, isn't this what my entire journey is all about?  The fight against Diabetes and Obesity?  I suited up a few months ago and this is just one more battle in my ongoing war against . . .myself?


This research is important:

Diabetes was the seventh leading cause of death listed on U.S. death certificates in 2006.

Every 20 seconds someone is diagnosed with diabetes? 
That's 4,320 people in a 24-hour time period! 

I'm sorry to get 'up on my soapbox' and go on a bit of a rant, but this is important stuff.  Just as important, if not more important than anything else I have ever undertaken.

If you come out that day, sign up with Team Freedom and join us!  If you can't be there on October 16th, then go to our team page and become a virtual walker for the team by making a donation!  Everyone can do something!

 

Step Out with Team Freedom

My Apologies

With everything going on yesterday I totally forgot to give you the weigh in report.

It is my sad duty to report to you that we once more have a broken scale. It appears to be stuck in the same spot it was last week.

Now, I have heard of shoddy workmanship before, but this is ridiculous!  Who is inspecting these things before they leave the plant of manufacturing?  Someone was obviously asleep the day that this scale passed right under their nose with an obvious problem!

That is my story, and I am sticking to it!!

THINK TRANSFORM THRIVE

Today was sort of a weird day for me.  The Boy and I attended a College informational session for a University that he wants to go to.  It shouldn't have been as much of a shock to me as it was, he's been hearing from Colleges for almost a year and he and his uncle visited this same University during Spring Break.  Nevertheless, as I was sitting there listening to this woman extol the wonders of the University all I could think of was that soon my 'baby' will be out of the nest.

Yeah, I know, I'm a sap.  I want him to go, I'm excited for him to explore all the opportunities that are going to open to him.  I want him to thrive.

Thrive, now there's a good word.  A strong word.  It is also part of the brochure that we were given at our meeting today. 

THINK       TRANSFORM           THRIVE

While those words apply to my Oh So Charming Son, and his quest for the perfect College.  I believe that they are perhaps the hallmark of our new lifestyle.

Think.  Thinking is much more a part of even the simplest of tasks now.  We have to think about what we are going to be eating.  I have to think about my blood sugar levels throughout the day.  We have to think and be so much more involved with ourselves and each other than we were before.

Transform.  That would be the process that we are currently involved in.  Transforming our lifestyle and our beings.  This is the more obvious change that the world at large is seeing.

Thrive.  Now here is the pay off!  This is the princess at the end of the quest (or prince, whichever floats your boat!).  To not only embrace your new lifestyle, but to revel in it to the point that you can thrive!

It's come down to this.  Part of my job as a parent, is to show my son, that he can achieve what he sets out to do.  What better way to do that than to achieve my goals here; as impossible as they may be sometimes.

Think  Transform  Thrive.  I'm thinking I've found a new mantra! 

The loss of Zen

Part of the new lifestyle makeover is Zenness.  (Is that a word?)  If not, I've just made it one.

I tend to be a little high-strung (hard to believe, right), and I have noticed, that when I get really upset, my blood sugars go totally wonky (another Katie word, I'm racking them up tonight).  So, I have been attempting to be calm, or Zen.

When I stay calm and relaxed, by numbers stay where they should.  Sounds simple right?  Yeah, in a perfect world.  Does anyone know where to find a perfect world?  I seem to have misplaced mine.

Today started so well, I was bopping down the road in my little yellow bug, with the rain coming down.)  I love rainy days!  Shortly after arriving at work, the day went down the drain with all the pretty little rain drops. 

After a horrible, terrible, rotten, no good, very bad day, I got into my little yellow volksy to head home.  You know what?  It is impossible to be upset and unhappy in a joyful little yellow bug!

By the time I got home, my Zen was back, and my blood sugar numbers were all back in line!  Happy, happy, joy, joy!!!

Happiness IS a little yellow bug!!

Cranberry Disaster!

Cruising down the road this morning, I happened to notice that one of the gas stations had an announcement on their marquee that said "Pumpkin Spice Cappuccino is back!"  I pointed this out to my mom, who was in the car with me.  She loves the pumpkin spiced coffees.

Of course the mention of "Pumpkin Coffee" made me think of fall and coffee, and that brought my mind to Starbucks.  AAhhh Starbucks. . . I do miss Starbucks.  In the fall when the Pumpkin coffees come out so does one of my all time favorite treats.  THE CRANBERRY BLISS BAR!

I love those bars!  Personally, I think they are better than chocolate!  As I was anticipating the annual introduction of my favorite treat, a horrible thought struck me.  I can not have them any more!  Hold the phone!  No more Cranberry Bliss Bars!  We may have to rethink this new eating regime!

I think this is one of those crossroads moments.  You know, a moment when you are forced to decide how committed you are to the road you are on.  Do you go the distance or do you step off and take the easy way out? 


I actually gave this some thought today.  Think about it, the easy way means, Starbucks, coffee, chocolate, french fries and burgers, and best of all, CRANBERRY BLISS BARS!  the current path mean no bliss bars.  Is there life with no bliss bars?

I did a little checking to see what the nutritional information is for the little bites of bliss to see if they were perhaps acceptable:  18 grams of fat and 38 grams of carbs!  No wonder I love them so much; they are really, really, REALLY not good for me!!

But then I thought to myself:  "Self, you have worked way too hard to get to where you are.  Are you really going to let a stupid little bit of sugar and fat screw you over now?"

Sometimes I hate it when I'm logical!!

Menu Planning

One of the most wonderful things (I think)) about the Dtour plan is the ease of meal planning and grocery shopping.  You can plan your meals online, switching out meals as you'd like, and when you are done, you hit a button and wa-la ~ Shopping list!  No muss, no fuss!  Ya gotta love that!

While we still follow the Dtour plan, every now and then, we 'dtour' ourselves and switch recipes out for new ones.  That was the plan for the evening.

Normally it is not that difficult; actually, it's a task I rather enjoy.  Tonight was a bit of a different story.  I could not figure out what to put together for some meals.  I know how to do it; Ive actually become quite adept at it.  But for some reason, my mind went blank.

Of course, it didn't help that The Boy was advocating for Subway.  I swear, he would eat Subway for every meal if he could.  I don't think he would ever get sick of it.  The child is a bit deranged!

When I was finally finished I was going back over the list and I noticed something really rather funny; I had almost 2/3rd of a page of vegetables on the list!  When I started counting there were 8 - no lie - 8 packages of salad greens on there!!  I may be in danger of becoming a rabbit!!

There were only 4 entries for meat on the entire list and I guess it goes without saying that there were no cakes, cookies, or snack treats.

There was about a 1/2 of fruits, and actually quite a few nuts and seeds.  I'm telling you, there is a real possibility that I may soon sprout fur and begin to hop about wiggling my cute little nose!!

Sometimes I Surprise Myself!

This evening I decided that I was bored with what I had been eating for lunch.  I was in a rut and I was tired of it.  So, I went trolling on my new favorite websites looking for something new for lunch.   Dlife.com and Diabeticlivingonline.com are my new best friends along, of course with dtour.prevention.com.

I found a tasty looking frittata that sounded like a lovely change of pace.  Hubby said he would pop down to the market and get what I needed.  As he was getting ready to leave I stopped him and asked him to get me some veggies to go along with it.  The words "Veggies are my friends!"  came out of my mouth!

I laughed and made a comment about some of the things I say now that would never have come out of my mouth before.  It entertained me so much,  that made a quick list of things I have said this week that would never have crossed my lips, much less my mind a year ago.

I can't function in the morning without my smoothie!

Veggies are my friends!

 Flax seed - the world's most wonderful food!

 No, I can't eat a McDonald's burger!  Are you out of your mind?

  Gogi Berries, we need more Gogi berries!

 Best smoothie ever!

Oh what a difference a few months can make!  We are coming up on Marching Band Competition season.  Usually that means lots of Saturdays spent at schools, watching many marching bands and eating concession food.  Not this year.  This year, I am figuring out what size cooler I am going to need and what sorts of snacks I need to pack to keep me going all day.

I'm liking this new me.  It's much more refreshing and much more fun than the old, boring, junk food, scarfing me.

First Day of School

Summer is officially over and all the good little children headed off to school this morning, anxious to begin a new year of stuffing their brains full of knowledge.  Not to mention filling their tummies full of that 'wonderfully nutritious' school food at lunch.

Hubby and I have always been very fortunate as parents; The Boy has never been terribly picky about what he eats.  Today, however, was a bit different.

At lunch, my charming son, was faced with the following choices:  Basco sticks, cheeseburger and fries, chicken nuggets, pizza, or a buffalo chicken panini.   What wonderfully nutritious options!

The Boy had a dilemma.  None of it looked anywhere near edible to him.  We won't even mention the fact that the only vegetable option for the regular hot lunch was the french fries that were served with the cheeseburger!

I do believe it was the first time in his life the my darling son did not know what to eat.   He has become so accustomed to eating healthy that the very thought of eating the crappy food that was being offered turned his stomach.

He settled for the the Buffalo Chicken Panini, but was sorely disappointed when it tasted nothing like what he expected it to.  He reported that it tasted sort of rotten to him.  Actually the word he used was crap!

The school does offer a sandwich and salad bar, which is considerably more expensive than the regular hot lunch offering.  So, I guess that we will be paying more money for The Boy's lunches from now on!

Am I the only one that thinks this is seriously wrong?

Empty Promises

This morning, I was vegging out in front the the television watching mindless tv, when an add came on for some weight loss product or site; to be honest I didn't pay that much attention until they started running the "success" stories.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing:

"All you have to do to lose weight is eat food!  How easy is that?"

"Point, click, and lose weight!"

I don't know what diet these people were on but SIGN ME UP!!  Here I thought you had to do things like, watch what you ate, drink plenty of water, and exercise!  No one told me all I had to do was eat food and I'd lose weight!

Come to think of it, eating food is what got me into this mess int the first place.  I ate food and GAINED weight!  Maybe I was going it wrong.   

While checking out at the market today, I saw this little bright green box amongst the candy section at the check-out lane.  It was a product called Hoodia, and it had all sorts of wonderful promises written all over it! 

"People using the Hoodia Gordonii diet pill reduce their calorie intake by up to 1000 calories a day and when you put that into pounds lost it may equate up to 4-6 pounds a week".

Here is the thing that I love about this Hoodia deal (other than the fact that Hoodia is fun to say!); it's purpose is to suppress your appetite so that you feel full and eat less.  Great in theory, but the minute you stop taking the pills, your appetite returns and you go back to eating the way you were before.  Hello 4- 6 pounds in a week!!

Then we have all of these wonderful programs that help you lose weight by offering pre-packaged meals.  Again, great in theory.  But what happens if you want to go out to eat, or eat with your family for that matter?  No can do, I don't think there are is enough food in one of those little packets to feed me and hubby, not to mention The Boy!

What happens when you have lost the weight and are ready to go off their little meals?  I'll tell you want - Hello, tubby!  I know, I've tried them all.  Jenny Craig was my favorite; I lost 30 lbs on the program and then gained 60 after I had 'graduated'.  So much for that plan! 


The old saying does hold; if it sounds too good to be true, it is!  Somewhere along the line, if we want a weight loss plan to work permanently, we have to learn a new way to eat.  Obviously what we were doing before didn't work so well!  Taking pills and having someone send you pre-measured and pre-packaged meals teaches you nothing.  If you learn nothing, other than how to read the reheating directions on the box; when you go off the program you are back to eating the way you ate before you started on the plan.


Also, as much as it pains me to admit, exercise is a key component to losing weight.  A rolling stone gathers no moss, apparently it gathers no weight either!  Whereas couch potatoes continue to grow at an alarming rate!

Losing My Mind??

Happy Sunday!  You know what that means!  Okay ~ business out of the way first:

Me:  -1.5 ~ Yea me!!
Amazing Hubby:  Stayed the same ~ Way to maintain hubby!!
The Boy: -0.5 Yea Boy!!

The scale is moving slowly, but as long as it is moving downward I am a happy camper!

Diabetes sucks!  I mean really!  Everyday since my diagnosis, like all other People with Diabetes, I get up, test my blood sugar and begin a day of waging war against my own body.  Can I keep my blood sugars level today?   Can I avoid a huge swing?  With me a huge swing in my sugar level means a major mood swing as well.

What I eat is a challenge as well.  While food is neither good nor bad; it has become something of a  trial to figure out which foods will not cause a major shift, still taste good, and help me loose weight.  If you ask me, that is a lot to demand from simple food!

I live in fear of losing my eyesight, feeling in my extremities and today, I learned that PWD's are at an increased risk for dementia!  Wonderful - now this damned disease could take my memory and my brain!  What more is left?  This is crazy!!!

I am not the only one who faces this daily battle.  Here are some rather interesting statistics from the American Diabetes Association:

Data from the 2007 National Diabetes Fact Sheet (the most recent year for which data is available)
Total: 23.6 million children and adults in the United States—7.8% of the population—have diabetes.
Diagnosed: 17.9 million people
Undiagnosed: 5.7 million people
Pre-diabetes: 57 million people
New Cases: 1.6 million new cases of diabetes are diagnosed in people aged 20 years and older each year.

 These numbers are increasing at an alarming rate!  Soon, 2/3rds of the adults in the Untied States will be obese.  Diabetes follows obesity like winter follows fall.  Something has to be done, and done now!

That is why I am on this journey, that is why I am writing this blog and going back to school!  This is a subject that I am so passionate about that I am resolved to spending the rest of my life helping others out of the deep well I found myself in.  No one should have to go through this, especially not children and teens.

That is also what Team Freedom is all about.  It is my first effort to raise awareness and money for the fight against Diabetes!  

We owe it to ourselves and our children to do everything we can to stop this disease!  Come and join Team Freedom!  You don't have to walk, you can donate $5  if that is all you can spare, every cent counts.

Commitment

First of all, let me apologize for not posting last night.  I had every intention of writing an incredibly wonderful post; then I fell asleep.  I am not kidding, I fell asleep with my hands on the keyboard!  Wonderful hubby had to extract the computer from me.  I guess I was really tired!

What tired me out?  I had a very traumatic day!  In order to make the new endeavor a reality, I had to make room for it in a family budget that had little to no wiggle room.  So, since it was my day off, I sat down with the budget, the phone and my trusty laptop and began to cut, cut, cut.

First thing to go?  My precious audible books.  They are my salvation when I drive.  I love to listen to books when I drive.  But, as exercise is more important at the moment, away the books went.  Anyone who knows me well will tell you this is a monumental sacrifice for me!

After the  books were gone, things were a bit easier. Cut, slash, and cancel, that was the mantra of my day.  At the end of it, I had cleared enough funds for the Health Club.

When I told Amazing Hubby what I had done, he was really proud of me.  It was funny, but I don't think even he understood how serious I was about this exercise thing until that moment.  Frankly, I didn't either.

Watch out Health Club, here I come.  I don't think the club or I will be the same after this!!

Speaking of commitment, TEAM FREEDOM is waiting for members to join!  Where is everyone?  Come on folks!  Join the team!  Don't leave us out there to walk on our own!  You can do it!  I'm looking forward to having a party and walking with all of you on that day!!  If you can't walk, donate!  Remember, all the money goes to Diabetes research.

Here is the link again :
STEP OUT: WALK TO FIGHT DIABETES!!!

Come on!  It's one morning!  We can do it together!!!

Roadblocks

I seem to have this new eating plan well in hand now (at least at the moment).  So it is well past time to tackle the very big, horrible obstacle that is standing in my way.  Yes, the thing I have been whining about . . EXERCISE!!!

We seem to have a pill or a speedy short cut for everything else these days, why not exercise?  Isn't there some magic pill I could swallow and in three days I'd be Miss Betty Buff?  Now there is a money making idea for someone!!

I know, I know.  If something seems too easy, it isn't worth doing.  So today, I took a look at our family budget to see if there was room in it for the Health Club, there wasn't.
The old Katie would have gotten frustrated and given up (while secretly happy).  If there was no money, there was no money, it wouldn't work, I couldn't do it!  

That Katie is gone.  This Katie is all about removing roadblocks; the mental as well as the financial! So, taking a deep breath, I ruthlessly started cutting things that I thought we could do without.  By the time I was done, there was not much left in the budget, but the money was found for the Health Club.

I am going to conquer this exercise thing!  I have to do it.  If I can give up chocolate, and my precious coffee, exercising should be easy, right?

I have a new goal as well!  As soon as I make it under the magic 200 lb mark, my boys are taking me to the climbing gym.  They love going to the climbing wall.  I've always stood and watched them as they scaled the walls and had all sorts of fun.  I never thought I could do it.  I'm going to do it!  As soon as I hit that magic little mark!

I can't do it on my Own

When I started this journey, I was convinced that I could conquer my mountain on my own with no 'professional' assistance.  Tonight, I am having to throw in the towel and admit that I can no longer do this all on my own.  I need some professional help.  (No!  Not that kind!)

It is no secret that I have been having motivational issues when it comes to exercising.  After my annual Doctor's appointment, and reading my latest issue of Diabetes Forecast, I have decided that it may be time to join a health club and see if a personal trainer can help get me going.  

What is driving this latest move?  There is new research discussing the different types of exercise that is necessary for a Person with Diabetes; simple walking and cardio is no longer enough; stretching and strength training are also necessary.  Why?  Let me show you what I learned from the Mayo Clinic Web Site:

  If you have diabetes, you're at increased risk of various bone and joint disorders. Factors such as nerve damage (diabetic neuropathy), arterial disease and obesity may contribute to these problems — but often the cause isn't clear.

Charcot joint
What is it?
Charcot (shahr-KO) joint, also called neuropathic arthropathy, occurs when a joint deteriorates because of nerve damage — a common complication of diabetes. Charcot joint primarily affects the feet.

Diabetic hand syndrome
What is it?
Diabetic hand syndrome, also called cheiroarthropathy, is a disorder in which the skin on the hands becomes waxy and thickened. Eventually finger movement is limited. What causes diabetic hand syndrome isn't known. It's most common in people who have a long history of diabetes.

DISH
What is it?
Diffuse idiopathic skeletal hyperostosis (DISH), also called Forestier disease, is a hardening of tendons and ligaments that commonly affects the spine. DISH may be associated with type 2 diabetes, perhaps due to insulin or insulin-like growth factors that promote new bone growth.

Dupuytren contracture
What is it?
Dupuytren contracture is a deformity in which one or more fingers are bent toward the palm. It's caused by thickening and scarring of connective tissue in the palm of the hand and in the fingers. Dupuytren contracture is common in people who have a long history of diabetes, perhaps due to the metabolic changes related to diabetes.

 Frozen shoulder

What is it?
Frozen shoulder is a condition characterized by shoulder pain and limited range of motion. It typically affects only one shoulder. Although the cause is often unknown, diabetes is a common risk factor.

 
Scary, right?  I thought so.   Here I've been worrying about my eyes this whole time and I never gave a thought to what the extra glucose could do to the rest of my body.  How brain dead was I?

So, after I scared myself to death, I went over to the American Diabetes Association Website.  The answer would be there, right?  Yep, they had this whole cool little slide show thing going on.  One slide in particular smacked me between the eyes: 

I'm a reasonable person.  Once faced with overwhelming evidence, I can be motivated.  Somehow, the prospect of losing mobility will do that to you!

So, today, Hubby and I went to check out a Health Club today.  We were impressed and I think it may work.  


I'm serious about succeeding, I need to do whatever is necessary to get where I want to be.  If that means finding some trainer to be mean to me to make me work, then that is what I'll do.


I can do this!  I know I can!