Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Thoughts and fears

I have lost roughly 58 pounds.  Since this journey began, I have lost almost 60 pounds.  I should be happy, right?  I should be thrilled!  I should be dancing on the clouds and rushing out to purchase all kinds of new clothing.

For some reason, ever since Friday, all I have wanted to do is eat cake, ice cream and any other sweet treat I can think of.  Thus far, I have avoided it, but I'm hanging on by my fingernails here!  (Fingernails which I have chewed down to the quick, by the way.)

I've had some issues like this before, but nothing like this.  This is out of control!  I don't know what is going on!  I just want it to stop!

We go to the Health Club tomorrow and I've had nightmares the last two nights that I step on the scale there and it breaks!  I think I'm losing it here!

Maybe Myron has found some new way to make me nutso!  If he has, it's working at the moment!

I have to get a handle on this or I'm going to go into the nearest bakery and clean them out!  Can you imagine what that would do to my blood sugar?  Oh my goodness, the boys would have to kick me out of the house, I'd be a raging lunatic!

Okay, deep breath; and again.  I can do this.  I've been doing this for awhile now.  I really don't want cake or cookies.  They will mess with my blood sugar, not to mention my stomach, and I will end up sick and jittery.

Deep breath.  My brain and stomach are not buying this, I need to try a new track.

I know,  I'll go to bed and read my new Janet Evanovich book.  That will keep my mind off things.  If Janet can't do it, there is no hope!

Good night!!

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