Thursday, June 30, 2011

Romance Novels - what are they really telling us??

I love Romance Novels!  I know that makes me a hopeless romantic, but there you are.  They are an easy read, they always end happily and no matter what troubles arise, the hero and heroine always win in the end.

All is well, right?  Well . . I noticed something recently that I had never really thought of before.  When was the last time you read a romance novel that had an average sized or overweight heroine?  Ever read one with a hero with a receding hairline or the beginning of a beer gut?

What is up with that?  Can only "Pretty People" find mushy romantic love?  What do the rest of us get?

I've been giving this some thought recently.  Romance novels are predominately written by women, their major readership is women.  Does that mean that we are perpetuating our own sterotypes?  Why would we do that?

What would be the problem is the heroine was a size 12, and worked in an office somewhere?  Wouldn't more of us be able to identify with that woman a bit better?  Because really, how many women are really svelte, beautiful, and rich? 

Can't 'real women' have a "Sweep you off your feet" romance?

Marilyn Monroe was a size 12.  Do we really think that she wasn't beautiful?  Men pined after her!  Heck, men still pine for her.

These are the thoughts that stir in my brain at 3:00 AM.  But seriously wouldn't you read a romance with a 'real' couple?

The New (Old) Plan

Research is done.  I have checked every possibility that I can think of.  Guess where I ended up?  Right Back at the beginning!  That's right.  A week of searching and reading everything I could find on the Internet and in my books I have arrived back to Out Smart Diabetes (formerly known as the Dtour diet.

That is correct, I have come full circle.  I have arrived back at the beginning of my journey.  Normally this would lead to frustration.  Not this time.  This is a life long journey, not a quick trip.

So, this evening, when I get home, I will be logging back in to the Out Smart Diabetes site and working on a menu for the week!!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

New Plan

What do you do when you are so frustrated and confused that you don't know which way is up?  That is sort of where I stand at the moment.

I know I haven't posted in awhile.  I have been so confused and frustrated I didn't know what to say!  I feel like such a failure at the moment.  Lowest point?  Looking at the photo of The Boy and myself that we took during his college visit this week.  I look like a short, round, whale!  I look terrible!!!

New plan is needed.  Another new plan.  I am getting tired of new plans.  Now, I just want a plan to that will work!  My wonderful roll seems to have run into a cliff.  A freaking Cliff!!

Anyone feel like climbing?  **Heavy Sign**  I guess it is time to suit up.

The Weight Watchers thing isn't working.  I need to come up with something else that will work.  

I'm whining, I know.  I do apologize I hate whining.

This is me, going off in search of a new plan . . . .

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hooping good time!!

My friend Arlene went with me this evening to pick up our hoops and have our first mini lesson.  It is sooo much fun!  I can not believe how good it makes me feel!

You get this bizarre sense of accomplishment when you finally figure out how to move to keep the hoop going!  I felt like I was five years old again out in the front yard with my little pink hoop!

Oddly enough, my new hoop is pink too!  Pink, red, and purple.  It is so cool!!

I can't wait for my first class!  And in the mean time, I can put some tunes on and groove here at home!!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Stupid Scale!!!

Okay, my new scale is broken as well!  What is the problem?  I get a scale, it works really well for a couple of weeks and then BOOM! the dumb thing stops working!

Maybe it's operator error.  Nah, that couldn't possibly be it.  I know, it is the new eating plan.  I have gained three more pounds since starting Weight Watchers.

I'm supposed to be "Watching" my weight, but it is going the wrong direction!  I don't want to watch it go up!  We already know it can do that. 

I would much rather watch it go down.

But really, the only one to blame, is me.

I hate that even more!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The (almost) crushing blow!

It has been a very long week.  The weather has been kicking up migraines in such a streak that I barely seem to get a chance to breathe between them!  Mid-terms were this week and work has been unbelievably difficult.  I am used to all of this stuff, separately.  Putting them all together has sort of swamped me.

That is just the platform that I was working from.  I don't want it to seem like I am making excuses for what happened last night, I'm not.  I was just in a really bad place in my head!

I had to pick The Boy up from a school thing and he was hungry (no surprise there!).  We ran through a drive-thru and then stopped at the gas station so he could get his "Polar Pop".  As he was getting out of the car, I said "Get me a big candy bar, please.  And don't make any cracks!"  He did and I ate it and enjoyed the sweetness (until it made me a bit queasy.).  My charming son never said a word.

Fast forward to 4 AM:  I sat straight up out of a sound sleep and said "Did I really say that?!"  I sat there stunned for a bit.  In that moment, I felt entirely defeated.  I felt like I was back to where I started from, using food as an emotional balm.  How far have I fallen?

This morning Hubby and I were in the kitchen and I was nibbling on something that we had brought home from the restaurant we had breakfast at.  Hubby looked at me in a bit of shock and asked "Are you hungry?"  I froze in mid bite and said.  "No, but it is so good!"

He had a look of disappointment on hos face that was almost crushing.  He never looks at me like that!  Or maybe I was looking at myself and putting the condemnation I felt on him.  If that is so, it was terribly unfair.

The Boy has always been a fan of Eric Clapton and the song Crossroads (his omage to his musical hero Robert Johnson) has been running through my mind since I woke up at 4 this morning.

by Robert Johnson

I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
Asked the Lord above for mercy, "Save me if you please."

I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
Nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by.

I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
You can still barrelhouse, baby, on the riverside.

You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
And I'm standing at the crossroads, believe I'm sinking down. 

Here I stand at my own crossroads, I didn't sell my soul to the Devil, but Myron seems to have gotten his smarmy hands on me once again.  He did it slowly, carefully, and so quietly that I never noticed; until last night.

Here I am at my own crossroads.  One way is easy.  I get to eat what I want and do what I want.  Of course, I'll also die much earlier than I want.

The other way is long and difficult and will mean retracing much of the path I have already tread.

But you know what?  I have already broken the trail once.  There is a path to follow, that I know is already laid for me.  I survived it once, I can do so again.


And I'm not very pleased with myself either!  I may be down, but I am never, never out!

Mr. Clapton, a little traveling music please . . . . .

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Great Muffin Catastrophy!

Alright, so because I can no longer have my cranberry muffins (12 points!!)  I am now totally obsessed with the stupid things!   Yes, my brain is a bit perverse! (I'm blaming Myron!)

Not ready to be defeated, I went to my ever faithful search engines and typed in:
diabetic friendly cranberry muffin recipe

Here are the results:  Bing = 2,830,000 results
                                Google =  42,300 results (Google obviously doesn't understand the urge for muffins!)
                                Dlife = 1437 results
                                Diabetic Living = Recipes (1809)

So, out of all of those results, I should be able to find something that I can have and will not account for 1/2 my daily amount of points!

Myron will not win this battle.  Cranberry muffins or death!!!
Wait, isn't that exactly the problem?  Too many Cranberry muffins equal . . . .

Okay, we are not thinking about that!  We are thinking about "acceptable" Cranberry muffins!

If anyone else has a recipe that will work, please post it for me!!!

I'm Here!

No, I did not fall off the face of the earth!  I has been an especially overwhelming week around here.  I don't even know what day it is, everything is a blur.

So, I am really going to do this hoop dancing thing.  If nothing else it should provide enough entertaining fodder for all of you.  I'm actually really excited about it.

The Weight Watcher thing is going slowly.  I gained last week but expect the scale to move downward this week.  If it doesn't, I'll just have to buy a new scale as this one will defiantly be broken!

Lesson of the day:  My favorite muffins are really, really, really bad for me!  I love cranberry orange muffins.  Guess how many points they are?  12!  12 freaking points!!  Out of my 30 points a day, my muffin is 12!  Bye, bye muffins!!