Stress

I've been doing so very well for so long, today I finally caved.  I went a little off the rails.

The boy is having surgery in a couple of weeks.  He is fine, it is oral surgery that is necessary for the orthodontic work he needs.  In a way it is really cool, they are moving his lower jaw forward.  Today was the pre-surgical appointment to get all the testing, questions and paperwork taken care of.

Between appointments we went to lunch at Olgas.  We all love Olgas.  I ordered more food than I should have.  I told myself it was because I was really hungry (I wasn't).  It was nerves.  The boy had ordered his meal with fries.  I have done fine with this in the last few months, no problems.  Today, there was a problem.  I kept snatching fries from his plate.  Finally, he moved his plate out of my reach and glared at me!

When we got home, since it was only he and I we decided it was Fend for Yourself Night.  Fried Eggs and Toast.  I went straight for the comfort food.

I know better than this.  I even knew what I was doing as it was happening, it didn't seem to make a difference.  I was stressed, I was worried and I wanted comfort food.  I guess it could have been worse; I didn't eat an entire cake, carton of ice cream, or even go near any chocolate.  I think that deserves points.

In the past, I would have spent the next few days beating myself up, telling myself I was worthless, spineless, and had no self-control.  Do you want to know what I have realized the truth is?  I'm human, I was stressed, my resistance was low and I slipped.  That is all it was, a slip, it was not the end of the world.  The world will still continue to spin on it's axis and the sun will come up tomorrow even though I ate some fries.

Tomorrow morning, I'll get up, make breakfast on plan and get back to work.  I made a mistake, a slip.  It's fixable.