Please forgive me . . .

You all know that I committed at the beginning of this venture to be square and honest about this journey; which means talking about the bad along with the good.  I try to keep it upbeat as best I can.  This is not one of those posts.

I have been feeling "off" the last couple of months.  I've been sleeping more during the day, and have become a bit of a space cadet.  My sugar levels have been doing weird things as well.  Simply put, my glucose levels are bouncing up and down faster than the Dow Jones Index!

Not to be defeated, I took myself off to the Doctor's office today.  I was well armed with all of my meter readings and my food journal and anything else that I could think of.  (Have I mentioned I LOVE research and reports?  Yes, I realize that is a sick thing, but what are you going to do?)

First things first - the scale.  Somehow, between Sunday and today (2 Days) I gained 6 pounds!!  But wait, it gets weirder!  With all the ups and downs in my glucose, my doctor did an A1C check. (The A1C is a blood test that gives your average blood glucose for the last three months.  The higher the number the worse your glucose levels are.  Since I began this journey I have reduced by A1C from 7.6 to 5.6.)  My A1C today was 5.4!  Which told us that I was doing a better job of maintaining my blood sugar than I was three months ago!

I couldn't take it any more, I burst into tears.  Yes, I know it was a positive thing, but I was so confused I couldn't make sense of anything!

We did a blood test and my doctor is reviewing the information that I brought to her.  She kept telling me not to be discouraged, but I was so frustrated I had no idea what to do.

I reminded her that I was going back to school to be a Dietitian.  My Doctor said that she remembered and she is really happy for me.  My response?  "No one is going to listen to a fat Dietitian!"  (I think she wanted to laugh at that point.  She didn't, bless her heart!)

I have calmed down a bit and am now cozied up in my little corner surrounded by my Diabetes books.  While we wait for the blood work, I am going into research mode!

I am discouraged, I'll admit it.  Living with Diabetes can be frustrating.  Trying to lose weight, maintaining good blood sugar levels on top of that seems impossible sometimes.

Nothing is impossible!  It just means that I have to remind my body who is in charge here!  I am in charge and I will figure this out!  I just have to remember to not panic and get easily frustrated.

This is the type of day that makes me glad I have a wonderful support system!