What was I thinking?

The last few weeks have been very difficult for me food-wise.  With the weather changing, and extra stressors (good and bad), I have been lax in what has gone in my mouth.  I am not happy about it, and I keep arriving at the same conclusion:  What was I thinking?

Last night is a good example.  We have this new little restaurant in town; the owners are the parents of one of The Boy's friends.  In an effort to offer support, we have eaten there a few times.  The first couple of times we were there I chose wisely off the menu; last night I lost my mind.

Migraines have been coming fast and furious for a few weeks now, linked, I believe; in part as my body's response to the lax eating regime.   One of the things that I do during a migraine is eating plenty of protein.  I have no idea what the science behind it is, but it actually does help.

Last night I ate a burger (which is fine) and FRENCH FRIES!!!  This is totally unacceptable!  I have no idea why, it was like my brain turned off and I went on autopilot.  Unfortunately, when it comes to food, my brain tends to default to junk.

Here is the kicker; I feel terrible!  Not just emotionally, physically.  I was fine for a couple hours after dinner, and then it was like my body started screaming in response to the crap I had just fueled it with.  My stomach was upset; the migraine (that had subsided) came roaring back with a vengeance!  Not only that, but every muscle in my body began to hurt!  Can a body picket the brain?  I seriously think that is what happened.

 I know better; really I do.  That is what has me so frustrated.  I have been complaining because the scale is not budging, yet I have put really awful garbage in my body.

The old saying, "You are what you eat"; I now realize is absolutely true!  I have been putting crappy garbage in my body, and in return, my body is feeling crappy.

And that is only the physical feeling; I haven't even mentioned the psychological ramifications!   My brain goes on autopilot, I eat the wrong thing (not bad, remember food is neither good nor bad), and an hour or so later, the little voice inside of me goes on attack.  Let me tell you, I can do a better number on beating myself up than anyone else ever could!

Why is this happening?  I believe that I became lax, I stopped paying attention.  I let Myron have reign and this is the result.  Weigh in is tomorrow and I have a feeling it is going to be bad.

Who needs Myron and Couch Potato; I am my own worse enemy!  But, really, when you stop and think about it, aren't we all?

Thanks for letting me vent, I do feel a bit more . . . determined than I did before.

This is me, picking myself back up, brushing myself off; and moving on down the path.  Now I have the proper light in my hand again, to light the way.

Why do I do this to myself????