Two days with no post. Weird, right? I didn't even post on weigh in day; -2 lbs by the way! Things have been moving so fast, and I have a bad cold or flu and my brain isn't working correctly.
Besides that, I have been sort of stuck on the whole expectations thing. The more I thought about it, the deeper it seemed to go. How much of who and what we are is shaped by other people's expectations of us? How do our expectations of others affect them? The more and more I thought about it, the dizzier I got.
Is part of my weight issue a subconscious reaction to the expectations that other people had of and for me when I was young? Probably.
But you know what? You can only use that as an excuse for just so long. Sooner or later, you need to take responsibility for your own life and actions.
So where have I ended up with all of this? Yes, part of my problem could be seated in my youth and my perception of what others expected of me. But, I am a grown adult now, (and have been for quite some time) who is responsible for what I do with my life now.
I choose to lose weight. I choose to change my life, my career and my habits. It may take me awhile to do it, but I will get there.
I can choose to not get frustrated when things don't move along as quickly as I like. I need to learn that I have succeeded if the needle stays where it is on Sunday mornings. Why should I complain with a stationary needle on the scale? If it doesn't go up, I've succeeded for the week, haven't I?
I'm sorry that the last couple of posts haven't been my usual fare, but I think I may have come upon a breakthrough! I understand myself a bit better now.
Scared yet? I am.
it, at times, is probably gonna be a success even when the needle goes up. perhaps up only one, when the increase in a week two years ago may have been 3. don't let Myron get you to take that one too far tho.
ReplyDelete~a