Late night thoughtsI

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about food (so what's new, right?).


In the past I have said that there are no "good foods" or "bad foods", there is just food.  I still believe that, in most cases.


But not for me.  I have been slipping A LOT lately and am quite ashamed of myself.  I have been hiding food wrappers and eating 'contraband' when no one else is around.  As long as I don't touch food I shouldn't be eating, I'm fine.


Then I get an idea in my head.  "I really need a hit of something sweet", or "I really need some chocolate!" get in my head and I can't seem to get it out!  So, I guess that, as far as I'm concerned, there is "bad" food.  I have no control when it comes to sweets and chocolate and bread.  Aaahhh, bread, I love bread!  And Ice cream.  Have I mentioned that I love ice cream?


I can get back on track, it will be difficult, but like a smoker, I just have to continue to keep "quitting".  I can do that!  I don't want to do it, but I need to!  Perhaps I was totally off the mark about food addiction.  Just like an addict!


I feel guilty when I eat things I shouldn't.  I hide evidence of what I have been eating, and make sure that I eat it when I am alone?  Don't I sound like an alcoholic or a smoker?  I am understanding new and horrible things about myself.  I can not be trusted around certain foods!  Wow!  That sucks!!


My Doctor and I had a conversation about food, diet and Diabetes.  I was whining about the fact that my weight loss has come to a screaming halt.  Instead of sympathy; she looked at me and said the following.

"My mother has Diabetes. From the day of her diagnosis, she has not eaten one thing, not one thing, that was not on her food list. She lost weight by virtue of the fact that she was eating healthy and watching her portion control."

I felt 2" tall.  At the time I was frustrated and whiny.  Now, that I have had some time to think, I have to admit that she has a point and I need to follow in her mom's example.

 I really, really hate it when she is right and I am wrong!!

So, what is the next step?  Back to the grindstone and out with that which I should never, ever eat!