Okay, I've been a very, very bad blogger. I am sorry for that. There have been some things going on and I think I am only just beginning to get my head wrapped around them.
The class I took this summer on Stress really freaked me out! I had no idea I had been operating under so much stress. We took a stress survey and my scores were almost off the charts! It scared me.
Then, as I read more, and listened to lectures in class, a part of my brain started to whisper quietly to me. It probably would have been shouting, but the rest of me wasn't ready to listen yet.
I have come to the determination that I am, once again, depressed. Not just "Oh man, I gained some weight." depressed, but real, honest to goodness, curl up in a corner and hide depressed. I have no energy, no spark, and really no real incentive to move forward with things right now. I have been in this place many times in my life and usually I have someone around to kick me in the hiney and push me out of it.
This time, I came to the realization on my own. Yup, here I am again, covers over my head, pull down the shades and disappear. Not cool.
Realizing what is happening is one thing. Doing something about it is another. Somehow, I have to dig down and find that little spark. If I find it I can persuade it to ignite, but I am having some trouble finding it.
I know I sound whiny, and I do apologize. But I promised at the onset to put everything down, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Believe me, I feel pretty ugly at the moment!
Then the other night, I had heartburn. My chest got tight and sort of burned. I thought for a moment that I was having a heart attack! If nothing else was going to give me incentive to get motivated again, the terror of that moment did.
So, I know what I have to do, now I just have to figure out how to do it.
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