The 2x4

I tend to be a bit stubborn (shocking, right?).  My dad used to say that I had to be hit upside the head with a 2x4 before someone could get my attention.  (Okay, he never really did it, but you get the general idea).

I am home right now, where I have been for a week, with gallbladder problems.  Apparently it is not working properly, if at all.  There is also some concern regarding my pancreas.

I was sitting here this morning feeling sorry for myself it dawned on me that I am slowly destroying myself.  I am physically destroying myself.  That is just so wrong on so many levels!!


If I don't start taking care of myself, my boys are going to be picking out a casket before too long!  That is the very last thing that I want to happen. 

The boy always talks about the day he receives the Nobel Peace Prize.  I have no doubt that he will.  He is a young man who sets a goal, maps out a plan of action, and achieves that goal.  I don't want to miss that, I don't want to miss a single day with this wonderful, beautiful young man.

Then there is my amazing husband.  We are a year away from it being just the two of us.  We have never had that.  We met and married in 6 weeks and The Boy came along a short time after.  When our son leaves for school, hubby and I will finally have 'out time' together.  I don't want to miss that!

I use humor to mask what is really happening to me, I make light of situations that seem too overwhelming for me to handle.  Guess what; I can't joke my way out of this situation anymore.  Will I still use humor?  Of course, I just need to learn to use humor to deal with what is happening, not hide it.

I contacted the recreation center at school today to see if I can get some guidance from a personal trainer and get a exercise routine that I can stick with.  No more screwing around, I NEED to do this.

I have been stuck in quicksand with my weight loss for the last few months.  Today I am grabbing onto the rope and pulling myself out.