Cycles

So, I've been having quite the pity party for myself lately.  I've been so overwhelmed with the new changes that I didn't even notice that I was sinking into depression.

I did figure out that I seem to have a bit of a cycle that I seem to be caught in.  It looks something like this:

No wonder I can't get anywhere.  I'm like a hamster on a wheel!  I need to find someway to shake myself out of this and figure out how to break the cycle.

I think a lot of the frustration is that I have now lost most of the foods that I love to eat.  (The only thing that seems to be left is ice cream!)  I've been looking at the situtation from that stand point; what I can't have, what I am no longer allowed to eat.

There must be a bright side to this.  There must be someway to look at this in a positive light!

That is my goal for tomorrow.  How to turn the negative into the positive!

All reads lead back to . . . .

Wonderful Hubby and I went to our appointment with the Dietitian and I have to say, I do feel a bit better.  This new situation may not be as bad as we first thought.  It may, in fact, be doable.

After coming home, I sat down and started researching gluten intolerance and diabetes.  Want to guess what came up first in the trusty search engine?  You got it;  Outsmart Diabetes (formerly known as the Dtour diet!).

Who would have thought that this new nightmare would have lead us back to our wonderful friend the Dtour diet?

So, it looks like I'm going back to the beginning and do some work to modify the Outsmart Diet (Dtour) to accommodate Gluten intolerance.

Back to the drawing board!

I know, it has been a very long time since I've posted.  Sorry about that.  I've been very sad.

I don't know why, I just have been.  Having real trouble getting into the Christmas swing too.  Although Charlie Brown was on, so Christmas must be here.



Tomorrow Hubby and I go to the Dietitian to figure out exactly what I can and cannot eat.  Maybe that is what has been making me so down.
 
Perhaps I'll have some better and happier news tomorrow.

But I have realized that not writing this blog makes me unhappy.  Weird!

Purple Food

The new eating regime is proving to be something of a hassle.  Yesterday I thought I'd make a seasonal favorite, creamy chicken and rice in the crock pot.  Sounds simple, right?

WRONG!!  The cream of mushroom soup that I have always used has flour in it (Third ingredient as a matter of fact).  Do did the bullion!  How do you make it without those two things??

Answer = you punt!  A little white wine, some cream cheese, and some chicken stock will do the trick.  All was well once again . . . until we came to the rice.

Normally I use brown rice.  I was out of brown rice.  I did have some very good black rice, so in the crock pot it went!

About two hours later I realized what I had done.  I gave the mixture a stir and all of a sudden the entire pot of food turned purple!  I'm not kidding it was purple!  I had to have been the black rice!

So for dinner last night we had purple creamy chicken and rice!  I tasted wonderful even if it looked weird.

Brown rice, accept no substitutes!

Masks

I haven't written in awhile and for that I apologize.  I have been doing some soul searching and trying to come to terms with my new situation.

I had finally come to terms with the Diabetes and now I have to adjust to Celiac's Disease and IBS on top of it.  My menu choices continue to disappear.

I have been trying to put on a happy face and solider on; which got me thinking about the faces we all put on.

We all wear masks and frankly, I'm beginning to wonder why.  Think about it.  Is anyone really buying my "I can adjust to this without a problem" attitude?  Does everyone think I am okay with everything that has been happening? 

If they don't buy it, why does no one call me on it?  I'm just wondering.  I have been feeling like a great big fake lately, which is probably why I haven't written.

I was thinking about his whole mask thing at work not to long ago.  I work with a bunch of people that I like and for the most part are good to be around.  However, the other day I saw somethings that I had never noticed before.

There was tension in the air and people were sniping about each other.  However, when the person they had been complaining about approached, suddenly everything was sunshine and roses.  There were smiles all around and nothing but positive and wonderful things were said. . . . until the person walked away.

I find this sort of behavior confusing and frustrating.  Doesn't that sort of deception take an awful lot of work?  Why can't they just say "I'm upset over what you did . . ."

No wonder women have eating disorders.  We eat our stress because we do not say what is on our minds.  We smile at people we really want to slap and we are nice to folks that we really would rather disappear from our lives.

I have been thinking about this for awhile and watching people around me.  I am totally fascinated by the entire process.  How do you know who you can trust and who you can't?

Does anyone have any chocolate handy??? 

Just thinking about all of this is making me crave sweets and chocolate!

Why can't we just be honest with each other?  If we were; how much weight would we lose?

Will Power

Hubby and I relaxed a bit this evening and watched a movie I had wanted to see when it was in the theater; The Green Lantern.

When I was a kid I used to read everything I could get my hands on.  But one of my favorites was comic books.  There was nothing better than climbing up a tree and spending the afternoon lost in a comic book!  Those were wonderful days!

The Green Lantern was my favorite because of how he became a super hero.  He was chosen by a ring created by a race of immortal beings.  The rings were green because green was the color of will, the most powerful thing in the universe.  The Green Lantern could make anything he could think of.  That's why I thought he was so cool.  He wasn't born on a special planet which imbued him with special powers.  He was  a guy who faced his fears and used his will to defeat his enemies.  Who wouldn't love that!

Watching the movie tonight reminded me of the power that comes from our strength of will.

I am facing a new battle and for the last couple of weeks, I think I have been letting it get to me.  Diabetes, Celiac's and IBS, is  a heck of a trio to face, but it can't be impossible!  I just have to change may attitude and come up with a new meal plan!

If the Green Lantern can defeat Prilax, I can defeat my little trio of trouble makers!  Right?

Right!  If it can be done, I'm the person to do it!!

Let the experiments begin!

I am determined not to be defeated by this latest diet blow.  Celiac's and IBS.  I guess it's a good thing I like water!

Not happy with that attitude, I have been pursuing my collection of recipes to see what I can still eat, what I might need to modify to eat and what is permanently out he window. 

Wonderful hubby brought home a gluten free bread mix last night.  One of my most favorite things has always been bread.  So the gluten free diet is a huge blow.  Hubby thought if I found a mix that worked well, I could still have something resembling my favorite treat.

So this afternoon I fired up the bread machine and got to work.  The dough looked and smelled good, even the house started to smell of warm fresh baked bread.  Which on a rainy cold day is perfect!  I was excited when the timer went off and rushed into the kitchen to see how it had come out.  It smelled heavenly!

I dumped it out onto a cutting board, and too anxious to wait for it to cool, cut a piece off the end and slathered it with butter.  My mouth was watering that the very idea of fresh warm bread!  I bit into . . .plaster dust!!  At least that is what it reminded me of!

It was horrible!  Who would advertise plaster as bread?  I mean really, who does that?!!!  It was so bad I couldn't even swallow what I had bitten off!  I spit it into the trash and followed it with the entire loaf of  . . .  whatever it was!

I guess it's back to the drawing board!